Uncles are the closest people you have in the extended family, especially if you do not have a father figure. When things do not work out as you expect, your uncle gives you moral support. Even if you have your dad around, he cannot replace your uncle, who will always act friendly towards you. He will take you out during holidays or even invite you to stay with their family for some time. Your uncle is a second father and your second best friend, to wrap it up in a few words.
However, some uncles are entirely different. Instead of being warm towards you, they are so cold and mean. They do not mind saying anything to you, even if it will hurt you or the people who hear him. This attitude will automatically make you feel hated and not appreciated.
You do not know how to react in the first place. You also do not understand why your uncle treats you differently from others. But in this article, you will get the answer to your questions regarding your toxic relationship. You will also find solutions that will give you peace of mind and not a shattered heart.
It Happens a lot
It may not make you feel better about the situation. But some uncles do have this hate for their brother’s children. So, you are not the first one to experience it or even the last one. While some uncles are guardian angels, some are a pain in the neck. They make you dread even talking to them. They will use curse words on you. They will insult you and also talk ill about you or your capabilities.
You will notice that they are happy when going through difficult circumstances. They will do anything in their power to frustrate you. But why do they do this?
Why Your Uncle Is Mean to You
Here are some of the theories that try to explain why your uncle is mean to you. There are many reasons available on the internet. But this article only focuses on the most obvious for the interest of time.
He Doesn’t Like You
You were expecting this. But it is a possibility. For instance, is there an individual in your life whom you don’t like? He may not have done anything to merit that attitude from you. But from the very first day you met, you have never enjoyed their company.
Sadly, this could be the situation between you and your uncle. You may happen to be among the people he does not like. He probably did not like you right from birth.
He Does Not Like Your Mom
Your uncle may not have liked your mother from the onset of your parent’s relationship. Many factors play a significant role in such cases. From what social status did your parents come? Your dad could be from a well off family, whereas your mom could be from a less fortunate one. The opposite is also true.
If this is the case, your uncle may have felt that your mom was not good for your dad. You are only involved because you are the son of the woman he does not like. So you also have your share.
Sibling Rivalry Issues
Your uncle could be childish. As little boys growing up, sibling rivalry may have trapped your dad and uncle in its web. It is impossible to grow up in a house with siblings and yet escape this phase or its effects.
As people grow to maturity, they wean themselves off sibling rivalry. But unfortunately, your uncle is among the few people who mature with it. As a result, he is mean to you as he was mean to your dad.
What You Can Do
Talk to your dad about it. There could be a possibility that your dad is not aware of what’s going on. But in most cases, parents are always aware of the struggle. They only try to be silent at the expense of your happiness. So, talk to your dad and tell him how it affects you. As a concerned parent, he will speak to his brother about your complaint.
It is important to stay respectful even to the people who make you feel miserable. If talking does not help, then maybe your reaction may warm his heart towards you. But at the same time, do not spend all your life struggling to be accepted.