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Why Is My Uncle Attracted to Me?

    Before the millennial generation, incest was discussed in whispers and kept as a family secret.  Today, genetic sexual attraction (GSA) is an agenda in courtrooms, newsrooms, streets, and even in social media. Support groups have taken up incestuous issues to create awareness and give support to the affected individuals. GSA is no longer a hushed topic in family gatherings and social places.

    GSA is an ancient phenomenon that is still acceptable in some cultures. However, modern civilization regards incest as a crime punishable by law.  Today, if your relative is flirting with you, it is not shameful to expose the matter.

    Is It Normal for Your Uncle to Be Drawn to You?

    It is natural for human beings to get drawn to genetically dissimilar mates.  This is nature’s mechanism to help humans avoid inbreeding.

    It is shameful for an older relative to develop an attraction to a younger family member. Your uncle should either be fatherly or distant. A relationship with your uncle is could result in emotional damage.  It could cause you to have impulsive behavior and lowered self-esteem.

    What Causes a Relative to Flirt with You?

    During puberty, adolescents are thought to be unconsciously drawn to those with indistinguishable character traits as parents. Though this desirability disappears after puberty, it is encouraged in certain cultures that practice consanguinity.

    Even so, an uncle who flirts with you may be suffering from underlying issues like spousal rejection, depression or may have suffered incest as a child. 

    A disruption in family relationships can change individual responsibilities and values, which may lead to incest.  Relatives who have relationship issues can act irresponsibly towards other family members.

    What to Do if Your Uncle Is Attracted to You

    It is awkward when an older family member flirts with you. Even so, regardless of your age, it can be uncomfortable to be around an uncle infatuated with you.  You need to speak out the first time and not allow an older relative to make you feel haunted.

    A majority of closely-knit families would not want to expose incestuous matters to the public or extended family. However, if your uncle is flirting with you, it is critical to make it known to your parents or guardians. Other people must be aware of any inappropriate things an older relative does or says to you.

    How to Approach a Relative Who Is Fascinated by You

    If you are 18 or older, you may decide to engage in a one on one talk with your uncle. This, however, should be brief and on point. Tell your relative that the behavior is unacceptable and should not happen. If your uncle tries to intimidate you, get bolder and mean. Tell your irresponsible kinsman that you find old incestuous relatives annoying and repelling. This can make your uncle feel remorseful or ashamed and desist from further advances.

    It is wise not to be left alone with your uncle. When you are alone, always lock yourself in your room or have someone share it with you.

    When to Worry About Your Uncle’s Incestuous Behavior

    It is worrisome if your uncle becomes manipulative, intimidating, or aggressive. You need to seek further help if your uncle starts to blame you for bad behavior and ridicule you in front of your parents.

    It is not always that your parents will believe you. Sometimes you may have to report the incident to the local police or school authority. It is common for families to avoid shameful situations that involve extended relatives. Do not be gas-lit to accept the guilt if anyone tries to embarrass you for damaging family relationships.


    Though genetic sexual attraction has been in existence for decades, it is still an act that most families get ashamed of. Even so, you need not feel victimized when an older relative behaves inappropriately towards you. It is imperative to point out the issue to your parents or the local police authority to help you deal with the situation.

    However, some older relatives who find the younger family members attractive may be suffering from an underlying issue such as unhappiness or sadness. Your uncle may be experiencing emotional distress and is looking for easy or familiar comfort. It is of utmost priority that your uncle seeks expert counseling to help deal with negative emotions.

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