Stepchildren behave differently with their stepparents. We have those who are obedient and loving, while others are rebellious and selfish. Generally, dealing with a disrespectful and selfish stepchild is never a walk in the park. So, if you have one with this description, you should expect negative vibes from her. Read on to find out reasons for their selfish behavior and tips on how to handle them.
Reasons for a Stepchild Being Selfish
When there is a divorce and children are involved, they become more hurt than anyone else. The idea that their family is breaking and they won’t be seeing their parents together is one thing they find hard to handle. As a stepparent, they will see you as the reason for their parents divorcing. Children who are victims of divorce happen to carry those scars into their adult life.
Also, where money and inheritance are involved, the children won’t like you at all. To them, you will always be an intruder who has come to take what belongs to them. There will always be tension whenever they see you spending money they believe is meant for them.
Selfish Things to Expect from a Stepchild
Criticism is one thing you should expect from a stepdaughter. There is nothing you can do to run away from this if you are a stepparent. When your stepdaughter looks at you, she sees you as living proof that her mother or father is never coming back. So, admitting this fact becomes hard for her, and that is why she will always criticize you.
Another thing is that your stepdaughter will always keep an eye on you. She wants to see if there is any tension in your marriage. If there is, she will take advantage of this to worsen the situation. Also, if she notices that your marriage is working perfectly, she will do everything in her power to shake it.
Long Term Implications
When you have a selfish stepdaughter, there will be many conflicting moments. There is nothing you do that will please her. You will clash most of the time, and if the situation is not well managed, it can rock your marriage.
Not getting along with her may bring a rift between you and your spouse. She will always paint you as the bad guy when actually she is the problem. So, it may increase the tension that may eventually lead to a divorce when things get to this point.
Tips for Handling a Selfish Stepchild
Dealing with a selfish step daughter is not an easy thing. She will make you angry and irritated all the time. However, there are tips that can help you take control of the situation. Here is what you can do:
First, learn to remain true to yourself. Whatever is going on should not make you change who you are. Behave like nothing is wrong in the presence of everyone. Though it may be straining to act like everything is okay, it is a perfect way of keeping things under control. You never know; maybe ignoring her behavior might make her change her attitude towards you.
Another thing is to keep a healthy distance. Believing that you can have a warm relationship with your stepchildren is impossible, not unless you raised them yourself. These are children who will use whatever they have at their disposal to make things work against you. So, be warm and friendly but remember to keep your distance.
Important Point to Note
Ending your marriage because of your stepdaughter’s selfish behavior is the last thing you want to happen. So, what you should do is to remain objective in this situation. Don’t let the tension between the two of you get to the point of no return. It would help if you learned to look at what is going on objectively. Avoid knocking heads at all costs because if you do, things might work against you.
However, this doesn’t mean that you ignore what is going on and hope that things will work out by themselves. This assumption is a big lie because if you decide to do nothing, the problem will kill your self-esteem. When things reach this point, you might end up taking out your anger on your partner, and the outcome may not be desirable.
Always remember that your partner is also your stepdaughter’s biological parent. So, whatever happens, he or she will always have a soft spot for her. So, ensure that whatsoever step you decide to take, you are not making an irrational decision. Doing something unreasonable might create a rift between you and your spouse. Always remember to remain objective.
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