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Why Is My Aunt So Controlling?

    For some reason, you may find yourself living with a relative. It could be your grandparent or aunt. Whoever it may be, living with a person who is not your parent can be a challenge.  For instance, if you are living with an aunt, you may find her a bit controlling.

    However, sharing with your aunt a house or living under her roof does not mean that you should not have the right to privacy and independence. You must be wondering what could be the cause of her controlling personality and how to handle the situation? Find more about this subject in this article.

    Why Your Aunt Is Controlling

    People develop a controlling personality for various reasons, meaning that the cause may vary from one person to another. One reason why a person may become so controlling is because of anxiety. Such people feel that if they don’t maintain control over a person, things might go wrong.

    Another reason why some people may adopt a controlling behavior is when they want to practice dominance. However, note that dominance is usually a form of abuse, which is unacceptable in society. So, you should be able to identify if there is any form of abuse so that you can seek help.

    Signs That Your Aunt Is So Controlling

    There are many ways to know if your aunt has a controlling personality. One sign is when she always demands to know the identity of the person you are talking to or chatting with on the phone. In other words, she wants to monitor activities on your devices, email, and social media accounts.

    Another thing is when she demands to know where you were and with whom. She might even go ahead to dictate who you shouldn’t talk to or see. Sometimes she may try to do unimaginable things to just get her way.

    Implications of Controlling Someone

    Controlling is not a sign of love. In fact, the outcome of this is life imprisonment, which may lead to resentment involving deep-rooted feelings. Generally, being controlled can lead to several harmful effects. For instance, it may damage someone’s self-confidence.

    Also, controlling may make the person develop things such as anxiety and depression. Another thing is that it may interfere with someone’s ability to make decisions or take action regarding his or her life.

    How to Handle Your Controlling Aunt

    One way of handling the situation is talking to your aunt about how you feel. You can begin by letting her know that you sincerely appreciate everything she is doing for you. But let her know that being so controlling is affecting your ability to be independent. So, you can politely tell her that although you still need her guidance, she should give you space to make your own decisions. Ensure that you do in a polite, friendly, and pleasant manner.

    However, it is possible that talking to your aunt may not bear any fruits. Getting her to change her behavior might not be possible. So, moving out will be another option. If you are not a minor or can live on your own, it will be the best thing to move away. By moving out, you will not have to answer to her or feel like she is suffocating you. 

    If you are a minor and in school, it means that you can’t move out. The only choice you have is to put up with her unreasonable demands. In this case, you need to learn how to live with her. Try as much as possible to ensure to avoid doing things that may make her nag you. Try to keep yourself busy with schoolwork or class projects to avoid any kind of confrontation.

    Important Thing to Consider

    Sometimes you have to persevere and be patient with the person because the option of moving out may not work for you. After all, you don’t want to end up in the streets simply because you don’t want someone to control you.

    However, if you are a minor, and it reaches a point where you feel that things are turning out to be abusive, you might want to look for support from elsewhere. If you are a minor, you can approach any social work office or organization or call helplines for support. Living under a threatening condition may not be healthy for you.


    Living with a controlling person comes with its own shares of trouble. It can sometimes make you make an irrational decision, which might end up ruining your entire life. So, it is crucial to weigh the available options first before making a decision.

    1 thought on “Why Is My Aunt So Controlling?”

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