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Why Does My Stepson Annoy Me?

    Parenting a stepson is stressful and challenging but can be done with patience, love, and kindness. A majority of step-parents get overwhelmed with this responsibility because of setting high expectations.

    However, you may enjoy step parenting by accepting that you are not the child’s genetic parent but can be a friend and mentor.

    What Causes Your Stepson to Get Under Your Skin?

    Children are good at picking up emotions. Your stepson will irritate you if you show hateful and unloving feelings. Even so, a loving and kind step-parent can be annoyed with a child who doesn’t want to receive instruction.

    Your stepson can show irritating behavior if you are a chronic critic. Children get hurt or discouraged when sharply criticized for certain behaviors or habits. You can lower your stepson’s sense of self-esteem if everything about the child is treated as an annoyance.

    What Your Stepson Can Do to Annoy You

    Adolescents can do all sorts of irritating things like to disrupt your peach or draw attention. Everyone enjoys a cup of coffee after a hard day’s work. Sometimes you may do this while catching up on your favorite news channel. Your stepson may decide to ruin this moment of peace by switching channels without your permission.

    Teenage boys can be a handful to parent. It is common to walk into an untidy boy’s room. Your stepson can annoy you by leaving dirty laundry and shoes on the floor or couch. This not only irritates you but drains your energy if you have to clean up all the time.

    What to Expect if Your Stepson Irritates You

    Some of what your stepson does to annoy you may also affect other siblings. Children often pick up behavior from family members. If your stepson shouts and screams when it isn’t allowed, other siblings will follow suit.  These annoying acts may make your parenting difficult.

    If your stepson constantly irritates you, it may create animosity between you and your stepson’s biological parent. It is normal for an adult to feel overwhelmed with bad behavior or disrespect from a child. If the little irritating things are not ironed out, you may blame your stepson’s birth parent.

    How Do You Respond to Your Annoying Stepson?

    Your stepson is a child, not an intruder or a contender. It is expected that children will do childish things some of the time. These acts can be exhausting and annoying. However, it’s important to remember that your stepson is juvenile or immature. A majority of adolescents act in specific ways to draw attention.

    You will feel better if you focus on the acts and not on the fact that the child is your stepson. Request your spouse to enforce discipline and set boundaries that must be respected.  It is easy to deal with one annoying behavior at a time. There will be less conflict if the direction or authority comes from your stepson’s genetic parent. Paying too much attention to the annoying acts can cause your stepson to want to irritate you more.

    Recognize that your stepson is a child and you are an adult. It is not realistic for you to expect your adolescent or preadolescent stepson to act like an adult. You will feel less irritated if you decide to stop expressing resentment and being chronically critical about your stepson. Your relationship can improve if you are kind and loving. Though you are not your stepson’s birth parent, you can be friends.

    When to Worry if Your Stepson Irritates You

    Sometimes, this behavior can damage an otherwise good relationship with your spouse. That is why you may have to consult a marriage counselor if your stepson’s behavior affects the quality of your life.

    Seek help for your stepson if the annoying acts begin to affect the child’s academic performance and social relationships. If the behavior puts other lives in danger, it may be an indication of a more serious issue. 


    It is common for adolescents to do things that annoy family members. Some of these acts are done to attract the attention of the parents. You are bound to get affected by this behavior, whether the teenager is your stepson, genetic, or adopted child.  However, a stepchild can be more annoying because you may not want to enforce discipline without consulting the birth parent. 

    When setting boundaries and enforcing acceptable behavior, it is essential to remember that change takes a lot of time. Do not expect your stepson to change overnight.  Sometimes, you may have to adjust your own expectations and change how you respond to your stepson.

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