No Parent will agree to favor one child over the rest, but the truth is some parents do it consciously or unconsciously. It’s easy to tell when one child prefers over the rest. A parent favoring one child does not mean they love the other children any less. It means they are showing preference to one child who happens to be your elder brother.
Moms seem to favor sons but so do dads seem to prefer daughters. Some parents are said to favor the firstborn and the youngest child. There are many sayings, and each case is different. There are many reasons why your mom may seem to favor your brother over you. Read on to understand why your mother seems to favor your older brother and how you can address it.
He is Needy
Probably your brother has suffered some illness while growing up. It could be one of the main reasons why your mom seems to favor him. He could be older than you and still be needy. Children have different personalities, and parents can know who is strong and weak. Maybe you have been doing a lot of things on your own since childhood. Your mom isn’t worried much about you as she knows you are capable of. But as for your brother, he may be the weakest and needs support and guidance in doing a lot of things like identifying the right university for him and filling every detail required. To know if you are the stronger one, your mom probably won’t pay too much attention to you when doing the same things because she knows you can do them with minimal help.
There are people you are likely to click better than others. The same thing happens to parents and children. Some children are more compatible with their parents than others. Your elder brother may have some hobbies he shares with your mom. They get to spend a lot of time bonding while they enjoy baking some cookies. The more they spend time together, they become close, and you will often find your mom asking for their opinion around the house, which will likely be put in place even if you object to it. They also develop some inside jokes, which will annoy you when they share something and laugh, but you can’t figure out what’s so funny.
He is the First Born
If your older brother is the firstborn, he could be getting more spotlight than you. Many parents figure their parenting style with their firstborn. They are still learning as they haven’t parented an older child than him. From a young age, your mom has developed to praise him in every milestone he hits. It hasn’t changed as he gets older. Probably his graduation ceremony was more significant and more remarkable than yours. Your mom is perhaps excited when your brother is preparing to join college, and she is doing everything for him. When it’s your chance, she seems not even bothered. The truth is whenever a person is doing or experiencing something for the first time; they get overexcited.
The second time going the same thing is less exciting as we know the process, unlike the first time everything was new and fun to discover. How will you cope in a family where you feel like your elder brother gets to be favored by your mom?
Before criticizing your mom for favoring your older brother, try and understand why your mom does so. Does your brother need more help in doing a lot of tasks? Does he have some illness that makes him dependent on some functions? Probably you are brighter and sharp than your older brother. You have achieved a lot of things on your own with little or no help from your mom. If you have, you should be proud of your achievements and know your mom trusts you more than your elder brother.
Speaking to your mom and letting her know that you feel hurt when she takes your brother’s side even when he is wrong. Maybe she is just more comfortable to defend him or offer light scolding to avoid confrontation between the two of you. Let her know you want to spend more time with her as well. Maybe she never knew you felt less loved.
Your mom has reasons as to why she seems to favor your older brother. Before making assumptions, take a more in-depth look at your brother’s needs. Speak out whenever you feel like your mom is leaning on your older brother. Know your mom doesn’t love you unless it’s just that your brother needs more help than you do.