Often, grandchildren discuss their grandparents with the biggest smiles. Grand mums offer great warmth, which moms may lack. Most grandparents support their grandchildren through thick and thin. This support, at times, even sparks jealousy from parents. Most kids would rather spend their summer holidays at their grandparents’ than at home. With grandparents, there is more freedom, bonding, love, and nice food. Unfortunately, some people grow without enjoying the benefits of a grandma’s love. You conclude that your grandma hates you, maybe from the way she acts around you or by the way she talks to you. Read below to understand whether your grandma hates you and what you can do about it.
Does Your Grandma Really Hate You?
If you had a grudge with your grandma, it is possible to feel like she hates you, even when she does not. Therefore, before you conclude that your grandma hates you, ensure you have sure-fire signs to prove it. Below are some of these signs:
Plays Favorites Among Her Grandchildren
Discriminating a child lowers their self-esteem and affects their perspective on different areas. If your grandmother tends to make comparisons between you and your cousins, it may be a sign that she hates you. Additionally, if she openly displays preferential treatment to a group of grandkids, with you excluded, it is a sign that she doesn’t like you.
Does Not Provide Affirmation and Security
When you are with your grandmother, you ought to feel an overwhelming sense of protection. Your world fills with so much love in that you know you have somebody to look up to and turn to when things get tough. However, if your grandmother does not exhibit a sense of security and affirmation, this could be a red flag. If her words persistently instill fear and worry in you, it is a sign that she doesn’t like you.
She Is Extremely Critical
Even where healthy relationships exist, it is common to have critical remarks every once in a while. It should, however, alarm you when your grandma criticizes everything you do. If you always receive criticizing remarks, even after doing your best, it may indicate her hatred towards you. Her criticizing remarks may also come in the form of offensive jokes about you.
Undermines You as a Parent
Your grandmother should respect your parental authority to your children. However, this may not be the situation with a grandmother who hates you as they immediately dismiss your words and actions as irrelevant or awful. Additionally, she makes it clear even to your children that you are a terrible parent.
Is Mean and Insensitive to Your Kids
At times, your grandmother’s toxicity may be evident in how she treats your kids. She may say hurtful things to your kids, even in your presence. Additionally, in your absence, the kids will complain to you about how much she mishandled them.
How to Deal with a Grandma Who Hates You
Your grandma is part of your family. For this reason, it is not possible to break ties with her even if she hates you. Instead, it would be best if you learned how to live with her. Some of these ways of dealing with such a grandma include:
Talk to Her
You should be straightforward and let her know how you feel about her actions and your kids. Please do not make assumptions by trying to live in the discomfort of her behavior. Open up and observe her reaction towards the same. You may be surprised what you will learn as she may be honest and openly admit her cause for resentment.
Invite a Third-Party Towards Solving the Situation
At times things may escalate fast. Therefore, it is essential to involve a family member or a therapist in extreme cases so that each one of you can open their hearts. This way, both of you have a chance to openly discuss their feelings and have a solution.
Set Clear and Healthy Boundaries
Where she has been notoriously breaking the boundaries, reaffirm them. It is up to you to make your parental decisions without her interference as you already know what’s best for your kids. Let her know that by breaking your boundaries, she is sending the message of distrust, and as such, she needs to respect your decision.
Grandmothers play a heroic and protective role in a child’s life. Strained relationships with grandparents are tough to handle. Therefore, despite their negative traits, strive to see the good in them, and appreciate it. Additionally, for the sake of peace of mind, opt to cut her off either partially or completely where the situation is extreme.