Well, we’ve been in situations where your parents are relaxed with some siblings and strict with others. Most often, it happens with the last born. It is frustrating because you feel your parents are not giving you the attention you deserve. And the worst thing is there is nothing you can do to change that, but if your brother does something unfair. You can report it to your parents.
Why does your parent permit his behavior?
A Reflection on Their Upbringing
Sometimes the way a parent rears their children reflects how they were brought up. For example, if your mum is the last born in their family, she may identify better with her last born (your brother). That is why you find that even if your brother is wrong, she will take his side regardless of her knowing he is wrong.
Maybe He Has Special Needs
Sometimes your parents may favor your brother because of his character or needs. Let’s be honest; your needs and those of your brother are different. That is why your parents will always treat you both differently.
We all have different relationships with our parents, and since no sibling has the same needs as the other. Your relationships will also differ and when you feel that they favor your brother. Remember, parenting is a learning process and that no parent is perfect. However, they should learn to be fair when dealing with their children.
It is perfectly normal for a parent to treat their children differently because each needs a unique approach. Contrariwise favoring one child over the other over and over again is a sign of a problem.
Why do you think your parents let him get away with his behavior at that time? Although sometimes it outright favoritism, other times might be the parent decided after evaluating your needs and behavior. So, before jumping to a conclusion, ask yourself if what your brother did earns him a punishment or a privilege.
If he has a habit of doing wrong, then he should be punished. However, if he is a responsible kid, and it was his first time doing wrong, you should be okay with him being given a pass with a warning.
Your parents may treat you differently because of factors such as birth order, and most often, this leads to biases. It’s common knowledge that parents are strict with the firstborn. This is because they expect them to set the pace for the younger kids. That’s why the firstborn gets all the praises for being responsible. But as for the last born, parents are laid back. Middle children are expected to be independent.
That’s why you find last born getting into all kinds of trouble and parents bailing them out. So, take advantage of your birth order to the maximum.
Even if you are a family, you may fail to click with your parents or your brother. Although it is rare, it happens. That’s why you find your parents taking your brother’s side whenever he wrongs you. It is traumatic seeing your family turn against you, especially when they support a sibling who wronged you.
It’s not rare to see parents treating stepchildren or adopted children differently from those who are genetically theirs. Why go through being a step-parent or adopting a kid only to be biased against her/ him? Parents should aim at practicing the equal treatment of all the children, irrespective of genetics.
We’ve all seen parents who are extremely cruel to their children if they come out as LGBT, to the point where they chase them from home. If you are a member of LGBTQ and your parents have not accepted you, it may be the reason they take your brother’s side all the time. Parents should treat their children equally, irrespective of their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Above are some reasons why your parents let your brother get away with his inappropriate behavior? Although it’s hurtful, try to talk with your parents and express how their unequal treatment affects you.
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