Meeting your son’s girlfriend is a special time. While most families are happy to meet their loved one’s partner, this moment can also be a major letdown.
Instead of meeting someone you immediately want to get to know, your son’s girlfriend might be unlikeable. Sometimes, our child’s choice of partner may even be rude and disrespectful. How do you move forward if you don’t like your son’s girlfriend?
Speak up to the rude girlfriend directly.
It’s natural to want to protect your son if you feel negatively towards their girlfriend. However, if their partner is rude to you and your family, you should say something.
While you may want to explain to your son how you feel about his girlfriend, be gentle. Saying the wrong thing could push your son further away. Think about why you don’t like his girlfriend. Are you worried she’s going to hurt your son?
As you consider the girlfriend’s other traits and your feelings, take the time to speak to your son. Remember to be respectful as you open up about your concerns. In some situations, what you think is a rude interaction may simply be a misunderstanding.
Once you speak with your son about how you feel, listen to what he has to say. Despite what you think, your son has the right to decide what to do. If he wants to stay in the relationship, it’s his choice.
Will I ever like my son’s rude girlfriend?
If your first impression of your son’s girlfriend is a negative one, it can be hard to ever get past this. However, if you want to have a happy relationship with your son, try to get over this first impression.
Make an effort to get to know your son’s girlfriend. Despite your initial misgivings, is she a good person? Try to get a better understanding of her personality and life before you give your final judgment.
In all likeliness, your son may not be in the relationship for very long. If the relationship is toxic, it’s bound to end eventually. In the meantime, keep your distance and make an effort to be amicable.
Can I force my son to leave his rude girlfriend?
If your son is in a toxic relationship, there’s only so much you can do. When you notice the signs early on, your son may be so blindly in love that he can’t see it.
If your son is still under your roof, you can limit the amount of time they spend together. Share your concerns about their unhealthy relationship as you explain what healthy boundaries look like. In addition to this, you can put limits on his phone usage as well as how often he goes out.
Don’t give up if she’s extremely rude.
Despite your attempts to help your son in this situation, it’s really up to him. This is especially true if you have an adult son. If you’re certain that their relationship is toxic, have an honest talk with him. Explain that any relationship involving abuse, codependency, violence, or similar behaviors is unhealthy.
Though your son may not believe you or even listen at first, keep trying to get through to him. Over time, he may connect the dots between unhealthy behaviors and his relationship. As your child works through these issues, remember to be kind. Ending a relationship isn’t easy, so your son needs your compassion and respect now more than ever.
Take the high road and stay in your adult state. Don’t stoop low.
If your initial impression of your son’s girlfriend isn’t accurate, you still have a chance to get to know her. Focus on building a better relationship with her as you learn more about her.
Even if you don’t like your son’s girlfriend at the start, try to be approachable and warm. It’s likely she’s just trying to get you to like her, so offer some reassurance.
Any new addition to the family can take some getting used to. Remember that even if you think your son’s girlfriend is rude, there may be more to the story. Try to keep an open mind as you get to know your son’s girlfriend.