Marriage is all fun and games until the partners involved start suspecting each other. When your husband starts blaming you for looking at other guys, things get weird between you. This is regardless of whether his claims are true or not. Such claims are an indication that your husband is insecure and jealous. Jealousy could eat up your marriage and eventually lead you to divorce. Therefore, when your husband starts making such claims, consider whether they are true and do something about it. Here is more information on why your husband thinks you look at other guys and what you can do about it.
Why Does Your Husband Think That You Look at Other Guys?
As mentioned above, your husband thinks that you look at other guys because he is jealous. Jealousy is a normal reaction, especially with somebody who loves you. However, the problem comes in when the jealousy changes from the healthy kind to the irrational and unhealthy kind. Irrational jealousy is dangerous because it can result in other habits such as stalking or physical abuse. For this reason, when your husband starts complaining that you are looking at other guys, find out whether this is healthy or unhealthy jealousy, and know how to act about it.
What Is the Difference Between Normal Jealousy and Unhealthy Jealousy?
It is paramount that you differentiate between normal jealousy and unhealthy jealousy for the sake of your marriage. When jealousy is normal, there is a mood of protection. Your husband gets concerned that you are looking at other guys because he is protective. In this case, the high chances are that there is a valid reason for his complaint. Therefore, rethink your actions or talk to him to know what he means when he says that you look at other guys.
On the other hand, unhealthy jealousy is intense and irrational. This is the kind of jealousy that results in physical or emotional abuse. With this kind of jealousy, it may be untrue that you are looking at other guys. This jealousy is most common if you have other problems in the marriage. Additionally, unhealthy jealousy is a result of fear of abandonment, worrying that he is unloved.
What Are the Characteristics of Unhealthy Jealousy?
There are several ways to tell that the kind of jealousy your husband has is unhealthy. For instance, if he is excessively questioning your every move and demanding an account of where you have been, this is a red flag. Additionally, if he’s constantly reading your emails and listening to your voicemails to know who you are talking to, this is also unhealthy. You should also worry if your husband is always following and stalking you to know your whereabouts.
What Causes Unhealthy Jealousy?
Several factors cause unhealthy jealousy. For instance, your husband may become jealous because he worries about losing you to someone better than himself. On the other hand, he probably has unrealistic expectations about your marriage. In case he has had a painful rejection or abandonment in the past, he becomes paranoid and careful not to have a similar experience.
How Do You Manage Unhealthy Jealousy?
It is paramount that you address and manage unhealthy jealousy before it is too late. The best way to do this is by first identifying the root of the jealousy. Communication is the surest way to get the real cause of jealousy. Therefore, take time and talk to your husband to identify the reasons for his attitude. Ask questions, including why he thinks that you look at other guys. Answers to such questions will help you identify the root of the jealousy and figure out how to manage it.
It is also necessary that you create room for trust. This means that you become faithful, honest, and committed to each other. In case you are running some errands with people that would make your husband jealous, make sure that you inform him about them. Additionally, do not lie about how you spend your time and money. Even small details that seem useless could help save your marriage.
Your marriage is not in the right direction when your husband starts suspecting that you are looking at other guys. When you get such complaints from him, take time, and identify whether you may be unfaithful. Additionally, talk about it with him and clarify a situation that would have led to a misunderstanding.
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