My Daughter’s Breakup Is Killing Me. Help!

Heartbreak hurts, especially if it’s the very first one. Watching your teenage daughter go through her first breakup can be painful for the whole family.

Whether the relationship lasts for weeks or years, the end can be very painful for your teen. While you can’t fix her broken heart, there are ways you can help her heal.

How do I talk to my daughter about her first breakup?

If you feel lost and confused as to how to approach your daughter, you’re not alone. Your daughter is likely a puddle of tears, feeling as though she has no one in the world.

While you know this isn’t true, she may not realize it. Do your best to let your daughter experience her feelings, but let her know you’re there to talk. When she’s ready, she’ll be able to tell you about her breakup and how she feels.

When talking about breakups, parents should avoid the mistake of minimizing their teen’s feelings. While most young relationships come to an end, your teen is experiencing heartache for the first time. Her emotions are incredibly real to her and she needs you to validate them.

Prepare for this conversation with her by thinking back to your first love. Remember what happened? While you are completely over the relationship now, at the moment, it was all very real to you. Prepare yourself to be a shoulder to cry on as you listen to her.

How can I support her?

Supporting a teen through their first breakup isn’t easy. It’s especially painful for moms to watch their daughters experience a broken heart.

Though you can’t glue her heart back together, you can be there for her. Your teen needs a good listener right now.

After the breakup, do everything to let her feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable. It’s best to stay quiet until your child gets everything off her chest. While you may want to get emotional yourself, try to stay calm.

Even though a breakup can be painful, you need to show your child it’s something they can handle. As they finish up their story, let them know that you hear everything they’re saying.

How do I help her hope again?

The very first breakup can make anyone feel as though they’ll never find love again. While this isn’t true, it certainly feels real at the moment. Help to reassure your child that this isn’t the end of their romantic life.

While this relationship didn’t work, others will. Let your teen know that young love exists to teach us more about ourselves. Though it is painful when relationships end, there’s a lesson in all this. As your child grieves the loss of love, let them know that this is a natural part of life.

When she’s ready, she’ll find someone new. Let your daughter know that she’s perfect the way she is. Whether she did the breaking up or her ex did, she may feel insecure and uncomfortable. Tell her that this breakup has nothing to do with her and that someone will love her for who she is.

Offering your own advice

Parents often have a wealth of advice when it comes to dating. Before sharing your stories, make sure your daughter is ready to hear them.

If she’s still in the earlier stages of grieving the loss, it’s important not to rush her to get over her ex. As she eases her way out of heartbreak, encourage her to focus on herself.

Remind your teen of all the fun activities she loves and friendships she has. Help your teen heal by re-engaging them in their favorite hobbies and platonic relationships. Over time, the pain won’t be as raw and they’ll start to get over their ex.

Heartbreak is a part of life. As your teen experiences her first one, remind her that this isn’t the end. She will love again and you’ll be there with her every step of the way.