Most in-law relationships require limits and firm boundaries. Now that your brother-in-law tried to kiss you, it’s essential to reassess the kind of relationship, the values systems, and acceptable behavior that exists not just in your intimate settings but also in society. Not to be judgmental, but eventually, such actions can be problematic in the family. Besides the fact that guilt is written all over you, you could also be entering a situation where you might be forced to face both strong and negative consequences.
Why Your Brother-in-Law’s Creepy Advances Should Never Blind You
The adage, never let a kiss fool you or a fool kiss you stands so true in such a narrative. It is the reason you must put a stop to your relative’s kiss, however subtle. Even if there is a mutual emotional attraction between the two of you, the fact that whoever is kissing you is family should set the alarm bells ringing ever so loudly. Remember, too, that most men are driven by impulse, and that quick and seemingly, innocent peck can still be a recipe for never-ending drama and friction in the family. So, how do you handle such weirdness and ensure it doesn’t happen again?
Set Immediate Boundaries with Your Brother-in-Law
Now that he tried and most probably failed to plant the kiss, you need to be quite frank and firm that such a situation should never arise again. It means that they should never come close enough to you or even try to touch in any way. Communicating directly to them in this way sends the message home. The outline of your new rules should imply that you will expose them to their / your spouse or family gathering if they try to ignore it.
What to Do if He Is Dismissive of Your Concerns
There is always that likelihood of your brother-in-law being dismissive of your threat. In this case, you must be fully prepared for such an eventuality. Initially, they may seem as if you are silly and dramatic about the entire issue. They may also defend their actions as innocent and do not mean to go the whole distance. Still, you should not buy into it and let not the explanations have a bearing on your final decisions. Mostly do not negotiate, and do not let them break the boundaries that you have set. Most often, if you allow them to play again, it can start being intense, or you could get caught. Eventually, you will be the one to blame.
Keep the Notice in an Official Written Form
Between a stubborn brother-in-law and the desire to defend your honor is your steadfast resolve. Assuming that you have completely failed to talk to them directly in person, an effective way to make the rules and warnings applicable is written. Emails, in this case, can suffice. Make it clear that you will no longer consent to his scary advances, and the fact that you are avoiding confrontation should not give them a license to bully you in any way. Let him also know that his predatory behavior will be exposed if there is no immediate change. The emails will always act as evidence if they try to blackmail you or deny the act.
When Immediate Family Has to Be in the Know
Generally, your brother in law should have taken heed and understood that what they tried to do is wrong. But then, not everyone easily bows to pressure or threats, and they may still want to bully you into submission. It is the appropriate time to put your closest family to notice. For example, you can let your/their spouse know, which helps to cover your back.
Whether you are the single one or your brother-in-law is, it does not matter. It will help if you are always abiding by the values that exist and guide your family. Do they allow indiscriminate overtures, touching, and kissing among family members? If yes, then this should not be a topic for discussion. The truth is that such behavior can border on the abysmal, and it’s the reason you need to set your limits and boundaries quickly. Eventually, it is for your good and sanity.