Are you supporting a genuine financial need or enabling a vice every time you give your relative money? It is a two-way street where you can never have a definite answer unless you finally see it as a problem or merely get tired. At this juncture, saying no to bothersome money requests from your brother-in-law should be your saving grace. Although it is expected that you are nice and generous, especially to your siblings and close relatives, you should never let the guilt consume you if your brother-in-law’s need for money is inconveniencing you in any way.
You can also help them find their financial footing instead of always relying on you. Here are some ideas.
Learn to Say No to Repeated Money Requests
Constant requests for money can be draining. In any case, you never know if you are enabling bad habits such as replenishing a drug problem or an inability for your relative to keep a job. Whichever way, you need to determine when enough is enough and make them take full responsibility for every financial decision and obligation in their lives. Be upfront and honest that you can no longer be there for their financial needs. Meanwhile, promise to be there for them and offer moral support in all their endeavors. Somehow, your relative will find another way other than you to cater to their financial need.
Find Long-Term Solutions Against Quick Money Handouts
Although the money you provide seems to be the only quickest way to solve your brother-in-law’s problems, a better and sustainable solution can help to nip their frequent money demands in the bud. For example, finding them a job can help them meet their financial responsibilities, and not ask you every time. It would help if you were clear with them about the reasons behind the job. It means that you will no longer be their run-to bank from that moment henceforth, and instead, they have to exercise financial discipline to fend fully for themselves. But do you know that you can even invest in your brother in law? A clever way is to take them back to school, or create a side business, knowing that they will never ask for money from you again once they excel.
Only Provide Money with Strings Attached
It’s an open secret that loaning money to family or friends is problematic. It is usually a recipe for disaster. Sometimes you will get your money back. But often, a relationship gets strained because of non-refund, a reason for many severed relations. Nevertheless, you can be smart about any future quick loans to your brother-in-law. For instance, give them money in return for a few work opportunities in your home or office. Let them run a few errands or work on a home repair project in exchange for cash. This allows them to earn every cent they get from you. The level of professionalism means that there are no hard feelings on either side of the money exchange.
Provide Information Regarding Financial Management
The best way to empower your brothers-in-law financially is to provide the most relevant information on making and managing their own money. For example, do you know anything about personal finance? Maybe all that your relative needs are financial literacy and how to manage their credit cards. Perhaps you can educate them on how to start living within their means. Such knowledge and much more can be more of use than having to dish out small amounts of money each time they request.
Frankly, it would help if you investigated the motivation behind your brother-in-law’s unquenchable thirst for your money. It can guide you on how best you can create useful strategies to make them financially independent without relying on you. You can then help them move away from their need for a short-term loan and get a more sustainable means, such as a job to help them. Again if you must give money, let it go with conditions, including them working for it. Meanwhile, what happens if you discover it is the other way around, such as enabling a bad trait? Then you can also find ways for them to get timely help and therapy.
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