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My Brother-in-Law Is Living with Us

Staying with your in-laws is never easy, especially if they’re disrespectful. You might be trying your level best to live with your in-laws in peace, but at times it’s never possible. To live with your brother in law in the same house after marriage is always challenging. But you have to be brave enough and set your rules and boundaries to enable you two to co-exist peacefully. All your house rules should be placed at the beginning of his stay so that no one will complain of unfairness later. You can read along to know what you can do to live with your brother in law longer and with fewer battles. 

Stop Pretending to Be the Perfect in Law

If you allow your brother in law to stay with you, stop the pretense. Please don’t pretend to be caring by helping him clean his clothes or do all the house chores alone while lying on the sofa lazily. Pretending to be good initially might make you regret later because your brother in law could be staying longer. Know that if you pretend to be friendly by acting and helping him out, he’ll expect that to continue. When you finally come to terms with reality and stop acting up, it could be late. And damages have been made, which you can’t reverse. Being you will make him accept you from the beginning and make him understand you better.

Create Your Rules

Living with anyone is never easy. To avoid quarrels and fight, create your house rules, which both parties will be comfortable with. Sit your brother in law down and tell him what you expect of him. Tell him the conduct you need him to exhibit and the rooms you allow them to access. Don’t forget to show him what you wish him to help you do in the house. Let your brother in law know that this is your house and he should live by your rules. If he feels irritated by them, he’s free to live. But ensure you also hear him out when you’re setting the rules.

Avoid Fights and Verbal Exchange

Sometimes your brother in law might do something irritating to hurt you intentionally. Or you might realize that he is breaking the rules set. Don’t start fighting or exchanging with him; instead, sit him down and explain your displeasures. Act mature like the elder sister to earn respect from your in-law and have peace in your home.

Have an Agreement with Your Partner

To be able to coexist peacefully with your brother in law, have an agreement with your partner. Agree with your partner on how long you’ll live with the brother in law. Let each of you have their rules on the brother in law. All of you should know the guidelines so that you’ll learn how to solve a disagreement. Agreeing with your partner on some issues will also reduce conflicts between you when in a compromising situation.

Maintain Close Contact with Your Brother in Law

Staying with your brother in law doesn’t mean you should be enemies. It could be you hardly relate but because you’ve allowed him into your house, have close contact with him. Maintaining close contact with your brother in law can save you when you are in danger. It will also grow the bond between you two, making it easy to solve any disagreement. Having close contact with him will also reduce the fights between you and your partner. You’ll hardly approach your spouse to resolve your issues because you two are close. So, it means you’ll not vent your anger on your spouse.

Stick to Your Set Rules

Once you decide to have rules and boundaries between you and your brother in law ensure you stick by them. Don’t be the first person to break the rules as it will make him feel he should do the same. Also, don’t allow your brother in law to break the rules without issuing a warning. Reminding him of the rules will make your brother in law wake and on toes avoiding repeating the same mistake. But if you don’t warn him, he’ll assume you can’t do anything if they ignore it.


Staying with your brother in law will never be a walk in the park. But ensure you set your rules, have an agreement with your partner, and, if possible, avoid pretending. Don’t forget to stick by the rules you set and prevent fights and exchange. You can also maintain close contact with him to live peacefully.

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