Have you had the privilege of growing up with brothers and sisters? You grow up in a family where sibling rivalry is not a strange thing. It is not always a great experience, but all the same, a memorable one. As the years go by, you finally meet the man of your dream. The love of your life. He is loving and caring. He is mindful of what others feel and possesses all the qualities you looked for in a man.
At this point, it is impossible to know the character of your in-laws. It is the least important thing for you. You expect your siblings-in-law to possess the same qualities as your husband.
However, after you tie the knot, you realize that your husband’s brother shows some lack of respect towards you. For a time, you think that it will pass, but time proves you wrong. It is a frustrating moment for you because all you want is to have peace with your in-laws.
This article focuses on helping you understand why your in-law is behaving this way. You will also get information on what to do to get your brother-in-law’s respect. You will also learn how to bear if things don’t work out for you.
As early as now, it will be wise to define disrespect. In-laws can be cunning at times. You are doomed to misjudge their intentions if you are not careful. You are a new baby girl in their family. Of course, you should expect some teasing and bullying without any ill motives.
Before we go any further, let us look at some red flags to watch out for in your brother-in-law. If he insults you, snubs you, ignores you when your talk, or invades your privacy, be on the lookout. Suppose he tells you openly that he doesn’t like you, do not ignore it. These are some of the signs that will reveal to you that he doesn’t respect you.
There is no other option other than to accept him for who he is. Let us now look at some of the things that you can do to manage the situation.
Dealing With Your in-Law
Fighting or shouting your lungs out at each other is not an option when dealing with your in-law. Remember, he is your husband’s brother. Whatever you do will have a positive or negative impact on their relationship. Rather than dividing the family, you should contribute to their unity.
What then should you do to manage the cold war, now that fighting is not an option?
Talk to Your Husband
By the time you will be telling your husband, he will already be aware of the issue. Tell him how his brother’s attitude towards you is making you uncomfortable and sad. If he cannot talk to his brother about it, you should work on being united.
Together it would help if you never gave your in-law any reason to disrespect you. If you have any issues, agree when in front of your in-law. Also, you should not expose your marital problems to your husband’s family. Else you might allow your in-law to rip your marriage off.
Run From Confrontation in Public
Your husband’s brother will only have one aim in his life; to embarrass you. Whether it be in a family get together or any social event, anything can happen. Remember to stay away from him at all times. Be as humble as you can and refrain from talking too much when in the same company. It will help you limit the room for confrontations when in public.
Create Boundaries in Your House
Now that you are married, it is your earned right to enjoy some privacy in your house. Discuss as a family. Make an agreement that nobody from either family is allowed to come to your home without calling in advance.
As a family, create your policies that govern your house, which will not allow family members to come between you.
Focus on What’s Important
Respect is ultimately earned by how you live around those who don’t like you. Respect every member of your new family even if they are not respectable. Be patient with your brother-in-law. The two of you are different in principles, among other things, but work towards your unity. Be ready to compromise a little to accommodate him.
In the end, what will make you happy is when you will be able to laugh with all your in-laws. It will take a lot of muscles to accomplish, but even so, nothing’s easy in life.