Being married ushers you into a whole new family. You not only start developing a relationship with your spouse but with your bro-in-law as well. Sometimes, getting along with your brother-in-law can prove to be a lot harder than you thought it would. Your husband’s brother may have character traits and habits that annoy you. However, with time and some goodwill, you can achieve a better relationship with your brother-in-law.
Listen to a Brother-in-Law Who Annoys You
Building relationships involves a give-and-take and a big heart. This is now your family, and the sooner you get along, the better for both of you. Find a non-annoying subject and introduce it in your talk with your brother-in-law. Encourage your brother-in-law to tell you stories from childhood days with your husband. This can be something that the two loved doing together. You can also ask about places that have the best memories in your husband’s life.
As you encourage positive communication, your brother-in-law will start talking about things that interest you more. As you learn a thing or two from your husband’s brother, you will slowly develop a friendly attitude towards your brother-in-law.
Set Boundaries with a Brother-in-Law Who Annoys You
It is natural for your brother-in-law to want to feel relevant and vital in your relationship. Your in-law may want to come in and out of your home without invitation. This may lead to your husband spending more time with your brother-in-law and perhaps neglecting other aspects of your relationship. It is wise to set boundaries’ early in your marriage, let your husband know how this behavior annoys you, and suggest how this problem can be solved.
However, it is best to let your husband address this situation with your brother-in-law. The message of boundaries being set will be received with less resistance if it comes from your husband. Having your brother-in-law call you before coming to your home helps you prepare for the visit better. After boundaries are set, ensure that you give your brother-in-law a good reception and create time to catch up about family.
How to Treat a Brother-in-Law Who Annoys You
Your husband’s brother can be annoying, and you may impulsively react impolitely. This can make the situation more annoying. Treat your brother-in-law like you would your siblings. Be natural in your responses; show yourself as being friendly and cordial. Find things you can do together without being annoyed or ask for favors in areas where your brother-in-law excels. This makes your husband’s sibling feel accepted and relevant in the family.
Let your brother-in-law see you when you are happy and when you are annoyed. Talk about what annoys you and what makes you happy. With time, as you begin to blend in with the family, your husband’s brother will tend to make you more happy than annoyed.
What to Avoid a Brother-in-Law Who Annoys You
When interacting with a brother-in-law who annoys you, limit the time you spend together. It helps to avoid conversations that annoy you. However, you can talk about uncontroversial topics like sports, wildlife or the weather.
If your brother-in-law annoys you, it would be wise to try not to have financial dealings between you two. Avoid working in a family business with your brother-in-law. Money matters can trigger relationship problems in the family. Working with your annoying brother-in-law can create tension in the work environment that can affect the business.
When to Worry About a Brother-in-Law Who Annoys You
When your brother-in-law intentionally annoys you even after knowing what hurts you, you may consider discussing the matter with the larger family. If you find that your relationship has created grudges that are constantly a bone of contention in the family, you may need to talk it through with older family members.
Sometimes, the issues with your brother-in-law can become unmanageable and affect your relationship with other family members. Should this happen, you may need to talk to a neutral party or an expert for further help.
A marriage relationship ushers you into a new level of other relationships as well. A brother-in-law can be nice and caring, and your baby’s favorite uncle. A brother-in-law can be your husband’s confidant and second-best friend. It is a relationship that you will want to get the best out of.
Sometimes, you can find a brother-in-law who annoys you. It is always wise to be patient when listening and interacting with your husband’s brother. It takes time to build a relationship, and you may have to give and take something for you to develop a less annoying friendship. There are certain circumstances when it is wise to avoid interacting with your brother-in-law. This can be in areas that concern money and family business. There are times you will give in to doing something you both enjoy so that you can build a better relationship.