Feeling unloved with your baby’s father is frustrating. It is the last thing you want to experience as a mother. However, it would help if you handled the emotions that come with it with care. It can either make or break you even further.
This article outlines ways you can analyze your situation and make an informed choice about your life. So, to help you get started, access your relationship by asking yourself these questions.
Do you still have a spark?
For a relationship to flourish, you must have some chemistry between you. That’s why it’s essential to ask yourself, is your baby’s father attracted to you? What are his feelings towards you? You can pick cues about these questions on how he behaves around you or treats you. Better still, you can ask him about it.
Also, assess your feelings. Do you still love your baby’s father? Could it be you fell apart a long time ago, and the fear of being a single mother drives you? A thorough analysis of your feelings will help you unearth the underlying thought of why you think your baby’s father doesn’t love you.
As you evaluate your feelings, consider your level of agreeability. Do you agree on a lot of things, or you have persistent arguments? Traits like a good listener, patience, and kindness can go a long way to sustain a long-term relationship.
Does he deserve you?
What are his moral values? What does he do for a living? Your chemistry might be undeniable, but you need someone who is work-oriented and respectful with good morals beyond the attraction.
If he is a womanizer, drug user, or an abuser, you’ll be better off alone than with him. Are there signs that he is willing to put in the work for the relationship to work? A family man is reliable with upright morals. That’s the person that deserves you.
Does he have the time?
People will always create time for essential things in their life, no matter how tight their schedule is. Go back to the past weeks and check his availability. Has he spent time with the baby or you? Does he call to check on you? Does he respond to your call or texts? Is he providing for the young one?
These questions help understand why you feel he doesn’t love you. Be genuine with yourself. The answers will help you decide if the relationship is worth fighting for or let go of.
If the relationship is worth it:
Give It Time
People adjust to events and circumstances differently. Having a baby is a great feeling, but it comes with its challenges that one might take time to adjust to. So give him time. You can strive to spend time together. Watch a movie, take a walk, or eat out.
Being together will help you talk and connect if there’s a spark buried in frustrations. Give yourself time to access your relationship. If your baby’s father loves you, you’ll see it in action. Also, during this time, you’ll be able to articulate if he is going through something that could be influencing his behavior.
Don’t Be Needy
Occupy your time with work or things you love to do. Be productive and find something fulfilling to do. It will help you deal with the frustration of feeling unloved.
Dwelling on the frustration will make you bitter and angry, which makes you even more unlovable. This is the time to focus on you while still giving attention to your baby’s father.
Women are nurturers. You want to have a family with the father of your child. If the circumstances show otherwise, chances are you’ll be stressed to the core. Take control of your emotions, and avoid drama. Shouting, crying, or using abusive language is not the best strategy to solve the disharmony. A simple exercise, like deep breaths, can help you stay calm. Instead of shouting, pen down your emotions. You can also try meditation and yoga. Your mental health should be your top priority. Remember, you have a child; negative energy isn’t good for the baby.
Talk About it
Take the initiative and talk about what you feel. Let him know your thoughts. He should have time to express himself. It is essential to know if you are on the same page. Now, prepare for the best but expect the worst. Whatever response you get from your meeting, accept it.
There’s a saying that it takes two to tango. If you are alone on the dance floor, it’s not a tango anymore. You can either choose another dance and dance solo or wait for your partner for ages, in which case you are wasting your time.
Suppose you confirm your fears that your baby’s father doesn’t love you, forge the way forward before the situation drains the life out of you. How do you do that?
Live Your life
Life has to continue. Don’t let the break up destroy your zeal and purpose. Cry if you must, but pick yourself up. Plan your life and your baby’s without him. Set life goals, career goals, and pursue what sets your heart on fire. Work on being an excellent mother and be there for your child. Life doesn’t have to stop because your baby’s father doesn’t love you.
You might have fallen out, but your child still needs his/her father. Talk with your baby’s father about co-parenting. Talk about your expectations, boundaries, and child support. Set your emotions aside during these arrangements and look out for your child’s interest. From now on, keep it professional and brief. You don’t want to get into an entanglement.
Take charge of the situation and make the best of the pain. Your tomorrow depends on the choices you make today. So be a good role model and make an informed choice for you and your baby.