Getting cheated on is a heartbreaking feeling that no one wants to experience. In addition to the damaged trust, it seems impossible to move on after your partner has an affair.
This is especially true if both people have a child together. Getting cheated on hurts, but will it hurt your child?
Your baby’s father cheated.
Accepting the act of cheating can be devastating. However, acknowledging that it happened will help you work through your feelings.
If you’re open to it, consider discussing your feelings with the father of your child. Your emotions and needs are important to address.
Taking care of yourself is a priority, as it’s essential to make sure you’re there for your child right now. If you’re sad, lonely, or hurt, pay attention to those feelings.
If you’re able to work with a counselor or speak to a trusted friend, take the time to do so. You can’t be a caring parent if you aren’t able to care for yourself.
Pay attention to what your child needs.
Just as you need to be in tune with your own emotions, don’t ignore your child’s either. While getting cheated on may not initially impact your child, these relationship issues may eventually take a toll.
Make sure your child is okay as you work through your feelings with their father. Discuss how and if you will talk about cheating with your child.
Things may get a little more complicated, depending on the details of the affair. If a baby is a result of this cheating, it’s important, to be honest with your child. Consider working with a therapist to make sure they understand everything that’s happening.
It’s also essential that your child knows that you both will still love and be there for them.
Decide how to move forward.
It may feel as though you’re without a choice if your partner is unfaithful. Despite this, you’ll always have the decision to stay or leave.
Carefully decide how to move forward with your child’s father. Though some parents choose to break up after an affair, others decide to stay together.
Remember that staying together for the sake of a child can ultimately be harmful. This is especially true if being together means creating an unhealthy environment at home.
If the two of you do decide to separate, remember that your child can still have a healthy childhood.
Breaking up after an infidelity
If you do decide to end things with your partner, know that this isn’t the end of the road. While many patents did decide to split up, they are still able to successfully raise their kids.
Make sure this infidelity doesn’t change the way you feel for your child. Even if you and their father aren’t together, you can still parent your baby successfully.
It’s important to separate what happened with the affair from raising your child. Parents need to take responsibility for their actions as they try to move on.
Ideally, the adulterer will apologize for their actions and actively work to improve as a parent. Regardless of how both parents feel about each other, your child shouldn’t suffer due to unresolved issues.
Healing after an affair
One of the common issues to avoid after an affair is taking your anger out on your child.
Whether you stay with your partner or separate, make sure you have a healthy outlet for your emotions. Avoid placing the blame on yourself as you work to understand what happened.
Find a healthy outlet to get your anger and frustration out. In addition to letting yourself cry, consider taking up a new hobby. Journaling, meditating, running, and similar activities are great outlets for emotional strife.
Should you decide to separate or stay together, it’s important to establish boundaries for parenting. Make sure your child understands that you both love them and will always be there for them, no matter what.