Becoming a mother is one of the most rewarding journeys life has to offer. This journey is most joyful when shared with a loving partner. However, circumstances may not always allow for this ideal. There may be cases where the pregnancy is the result of tragic circumstances such as incest or rape. In such cases, revealing the identity of the father can be an arduous task, especially if the father is someone you know personally.
In the case of carrying a child fathered by your own dad, it can be an exceptionally distressing situation. Despite any attempts to justify the circumstances, the reality may still be difficult to accept. A pregnancy of this nature can challenge your moral beliefs, especially if you’ve been raised with strong ethical values. However, if you find yourself pregnant under such circumstances, it’s important to consider strategies that may help you navigate this difficult time without feeling isolated or scorned. Here are a few suggestions:
Maintain Discretion about the Identity of the Father
Unless you are in a position where you are unashamed or somehow accepting of this unusual situation, a child resulting from such a union can cause significant upheaval within your family. Reactions may range from condemnation to empathy. To prevent unnecessary conflict, it may be advisable to keep the identity of the father undisclosed. While the baby may bear a resemblance to your father, it could be misinterpreted as genetic similarity since he is also your dad. Although not the most favorable solution, discretion may be necessary to maintain family unity.
Initiate a Discussion with Understanding Family Members
Pregnancy under such circumstances is not a situation that you could have anticipated or controlled. The accompanying feelings of shame and guilt can have negative effects on your overall health. To alleviate this burden, consider arranging a family meeting at an appropriate time to share your situation. It’s important not to wait too long, and if possible, have this conversation when your father is not present. Keep in mind that disclosing this information may result in additional consequences for you or your father, but it’s better coming from you than from an external source.
Express Remorse to Your Family
In most cultures, having a child fathered by your own father is considered a grave transgression. Regardless of whether an apology can change the reality, expressing your remorse to your family can be a significant step. The individual most likely to be affected by this news is your mother, if she is present in your life. Communicate with her directly, and understand that her initial reaction may be aggressive or confused. Mothers can be understanding, so give her time to process the news before she makes any decisions.
Consider Moving Away
If the pregnancy was a result of a conscious decision between you and your father, it may be beneficial to relocate. The pride and arrogance that might develop from the affection shown by your father during your pregnancy could lead to a negative atmosphere at home. To avoid causing any further pain to your mother, it may be best to move to another location and maintain discretion about the identity of the baby’s father.
Seek Professional Assistance
The emotional turmoil of carrying a child fathered by your own dad can be overwhelming, and may be further amplified by people projecting negative views onto you. Consulting with a psychiatrist can be a helpful avenue to navigate through your feelings, understand the way forward, and even serve as a mediator in family discussions.
In conclusion, every woman yearns to share the joy of pregnancy and motherhood with a supportive and loving partner. However, when the father of your child is also your father, it becomes a challenge. You might consider various options like seeking forgiveness from family, maintaining the father’s identity as a secret, or moving away. Remember, you’re not alone and there’s help available for you during this difficult time.