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I Called My Son Stupid

No parent wants to imagine that their actions are abusive. Even actions that seem harmless can have damaging effects on children.

Parents should always be extremely careful when speaking to their children. Even for just a moment, one negative word can potentially scar your child for life.

Did I damage our relationship forever?

Calling your child stupid can be very damaging. While you may have said it in passing, this word carries a lot of weight to a child.

If you’ve ever called your child stupid, it’s important to acknowledge this mistake. While you can’t turn back time, you can apologize.

Do all you can to make sure your child doesn’t internalize feeling stupid. If you can, apologize immediately after saying his word. Try to help your child understand that you didn’t mean it and that they aren’t stupid.

The most damaging part of this word is that your child may start to believe that they are stupid. Remind your child of how intelligent they are and explain that you let your frustrations get the better of you.

The more you’re able to explain what happened as a result of your own emotions, the sooner they’ll understand that they’re not at fault.

How do I apologize to my child?

Parents aren’t perfect. As such, there will come a time in every parent’s life when they make a mistake.

If you ever make the mistake of calling your child stupid, own up to it. Admitting you’re wrong and that you made a mistake is the first step in helping your child heal.

Saying that you’re sorry will help them see that even though you’re a parent, you aren’t perfect. This will go a long way in helping your child accept that you didn’t mean what you said. Moreover, it will help them empathize with your mistake.

As you apologize, try to explain why you said what you did. Whether you lost your cool because of stress or you weren’t able to properly communicate, explaining why it is important.

How can I remind my child I love them?

While an apology is essential after calling your child stupid, so is changing your behavior. Make sure your words have meaning behind them after you say sorry. Likewise, learn how to change your auctions and be more patient when talking to your child.

In doing this, make every effort to remind your child how much you value them. Even though you used a negative word, you don’t have to let the word have power over your child. Shower your child with praise, allowing them to feel loved valued.

Avoiding negative words in the future

We all get stressed out from time to time. The key to making things right with your child is to make sure what happened doesn’t happen again.

Analyze the situation and take steps to avoid repeating them. For example, if you used the word stupid out of frustration, find ways to relieve these emotions. Learn to speak to your child calmly and to better communicate your feelings.

If your child isn’t listening or is violating what you’re saying, find out why. Frequently, what seems like a child being ornery is just a lack of understanding. Trying to get on the same page is a helpful way to avoid damaging pitfalls in the future.

In addition to improving your communication efforts, consider seeking outside help. Working with a therapist or reading up on anger management are other options as well. Both options will help you work through your pent up frustration and find healthy ways to speak to your child.

Calling your child stupid is a mistake, and you must own up to it. Make sure to apologize and make an effort to change your behavior as you work to fix your mistake.

2 thoughts on “I Called My Son Stupid”

  1. I called my son an idiot last night at bedtime. He would not sleep and would not explain to me why he couldn’t sleep. I kept asking and asking and he just stared at me. I got completely frustrated and said the word and turned over away from him. I lay there and realized how awful I was for saying it. I couldn’t believe it. I do have ADHD, depression and anxiety and I had taken my meds wrong that day and they really boggled my mind and made me angry and easily irritated. I apologized profusely and tried to explain that mama’s medication made her very irritated that he wouldn’t explain why he could not sleep. I always tell my son to speak up and never hold feelings in but he does it. I think he has mental illness issues as well because I see so much of me and his dad in him. Having two personalities alike is difficult. I have no idea how to fix this damage to his self-esteem. I know how it feels to feel stupid and feeling alone and now I feel like I have pushed him away from me. We slept in and I drove him to school and he seemed okay but I know it’ll stay with him. I’m horrible. I hate using my mental illness as an excuse, but it if difficult to be a single mom with a child who can’t, or won’t, express himself to me so I can help him. I feel like a terrible mother.

  2. If your baby won’t sleep, check out the sleep method from SleepBaby.org – Thank you SleepBaby for this brilliant method! My daughter now sleeps from 7pm to 6 or 6:30am every night with almost no night wakings. And even if she wakes, it’s usually just for a second and then she falls back asleep all on her own.

    Most nights I get my 8 hours of sleep and it’s just wonderful! I really feel like I understand her little body and mind and can address her sleeping holistically. I can’t thank you enough, Kacey and the SleepBaby.org team!

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