Despite what everyone says and probably what you have heard for years, “Will I love my baby immediately” is a very common question. Many will not admit it out loud. Most are ashamed to admit it, but it is not necessarily something to be ashamed of. All mothers are very different and when giving birth there are so many emotions and hormones moving around there is no wonder that some of these questions are being asked. Your question can not be answered straight out with one simple answer. There are many factors that play into that. Read a little further to see why it happens and how can you avoid that same outcome if you should encounter that within your pregnancy.
Not All Mothers Are the Same
You bet that you are different than a mother that grew up right next door to you that had all of the same opportunities that you had. I know that you would be different than a mother that grew up in a different state, financial situation, or lifestyle. We are all different and come from different backgrounds and that will make you accept different situations differently.
It is more likely that you may love your baby immediately if you got pregnant under the best of circumstances. If you are married and financially stable. You have a supportive extended family with a beautiful home and car. When those basic needs are met, you will most likely fall deep in love with your child at first sight. Those are not the only factors, but they do make it easier.
When your home life is in an uproar, and you are pregnant this may be different. If the father does not want to be in the child’s life, or you were not anticipating on getting pregnant you may not feel that love right off. All of these factors will come together to shape the way you see your newborn. Don’t worry, the way you see your baby at first, does not have to be how you see your baby forever.
Not All Pregnancies Are the Same
Some pregnancies are heaven. If your pregnancy is that sought after one that all of the ladies want where your skin glows, hair grows, and you only gain a little belly weight, you may feel deep love. It you have significant help during your pregnancy even if it is a rough pregnancy, to help take the load off, you may not feel as overwhelmed and that may make you feel much better towards your baby. Having morning sickness that extends much past the morning coupled with many of the negative effects of pregnancy can leave a bad taste in your mouth about the entire process. When this happens, there is no question as to why you may have different feelings than expected upon the birth of your newborn.
Bonding in the Womb
Often times mothers overlook the importance of bonding with their babies while still in their bellies. Remember that this is a crucial time. This is the time where only you and your baby share a space. By talking to your baby, you are falling in love with them before you see them. You will build a bond that is so close, you will not really question will you love them when you see them and all of the bad things that you endure during pregnancy will be worth it. Take the opportunity to read to your child, feel their kicks and movements, as well as connect with their heartbeats. All of this will keep you two close. There is still no guarantee of your feelings on the day of birth, but by taking advantage of the time that only you share, you will most likely build an attachment to one another that no one else in the world can ever have.
Depression Can Play a Major Part
Some mothers already suffer from mental illnesses prior to becoming pregnancy with depression being the biggest of them all. This illness is stressing when it comes to pregnancy. It can throw you entirely off kilter because being pregnant is a roller coaster of emotions. You can find yourself laughing one minute and then crying the next. Eating one day, but wanting to diet the next. Wanting a baby one second, but believing in aborting the next. You feel like an insane human being. When that happens, there is no way without medication to regulate your feelings of love for your baby. If you, a loved one, or a medical professional doesn’t recognize it, there may be nothing done. Some mothers also deal with postpartum depression which comes after the birth of their child. It is astounding how many women have reported having very little to no connection with their baby and do not know why and it was connected back to the illness. Postpartum has to be treated with medication.
Some Mothers Love Differently
Believe it or not, some mothers are those mothers that love a little different. There are those that are all “lovey dovey” and then there are those that are much less loving. There is nothing to be ashamed of, you just may be different. You more than likely will love your child but when you have your child the feeling that you feel may just feel different than what you have expected. It may feel less than what is described in books and in the movies. The tears may not flow quite like your friends. Or you could totally be engulfed in this thing called motherhood and your baby could take your entire breath away as they make their entrance into this world.
There are no simple answers to if you will love your baby the very first time that you see him or her. One would hope that you do because it will be an amazing experience. What we do know is that just because you may not feel that love that you were expecting to feel when you first see your baby, does not mean that you can’t be a great mother. Focus on trying to build a good relationship with your child. Attend to their needs and make sure that they are cared for and you will most likely fall deep in love with you bundle of joy before you know it.