How do you deal with a brother-in-law who ignores you? Probably this question has popped in your head countless times. The feeling of being ignored can take a toll on you emotionally. Especially every time you try to get along, but nothing seems to work. You may ask yourself questions like, did I wrong him? What makes him ignore me? Does he feel like I am not good enough for his brother?
It’s tough to live with someone who ignores your presence every time you happen to meet. If it was your sister’s husband, it could be easier to talk to your sister and know how you can achieve a better relationship. When it comes to your husband’s brother, you will have to see him very often, especially if they are close. While you may have many unanswered questions, you can try reaching out to him. Read on to understand how to deal with a brother-in-law who ignores you?
Communicate Directly
If you feel your brother-in-law is bluntly ignoring you, try and talk to him. Communicate with him and let him how you feel. Enquire if you wronged him in any way. People are different, and you may have said something that didn’t go well with him unknowingly. If you have some differences, you can try and sort them out and put the past behind you. If he is married, maybe you wronged his wife and need to apologize. Communicating with him can help you a better understanding of what makes him ignore you.
Choose an appropriate time and place where there are no distractions or at least a little private. Calling your brother-in-law out in front of everyone on why he ignores you can make him retreat further. It does not come off well, am sure you wouldn’t want someone doing the same to you. Talking to him in a calm and quiet environment can make him feel comfortable to open up to you on why he is ignoring you. You can get his attention by calling his name and proceed to say, “can I talk to you about something.” Do you have a minute? Then go aside somewhere you can speak for a few minutes.
Talk to Your Spouse
If communicating with your brother-in-law doesn’t work, you could talk to his brother about what you feel. Open up to him and let him know you feel like he ignores you. He could try talking to him to find the reason and fix it; after all, he knows him better than you. It will be an excellent opportunity to learn a few more things about your brother-in-law that probably you didn’t. You could plan a dinner and invite him over for a bonding time once you get along.
Stop Overthinking
Thinking of the reasons why your brother-in-law ignores you every time you see him becomes a problem for you. Overthinking will only deprive you of peace. When you overthink, you cannot find a solution to the problem. If you find yourself overthinking whenever your brother-in-law is around, try focusing on other useful things like enjoying a chat with those who value your presence.
Overthinking comes to pressure, which can lead to confrontation. Your brother-in-law’s presence does not hold the key to your sanity. Be good to him and help out whenever he is in need. Don’t pressurize yourself for things beyond your control.
Accept Yourself
Probably the main reason your brother-in-law ignores you is that he feels you are insignificant. Maybe he feels you aren’t suitable for his brother but has to put up because he doesn’t want to anger his brother. Learning to accept yourself for who you are. Live unapologetically to those who feel you aren’t good enough; it’s the best reward you could give yourself. When you accept yourself fully, it will not affect you as to why he ignores you; instead, you will focus on making memories with those who value you.
Seen your brother-in-law often, and knowing he is ignoring you, can deprive your inner peace. Accepting yourself and knowing you can’t change the way he sees you will give you inner peace. After all, you aren’t responsible for people’s opinion of you. It is his choice to get to know you or ignore you.
If you try the above methods and still don’t come around, consider it his loss. Stop focusing on why he ignores you and concentrate on other people who appreciate you. His opinion on you should not get in your head, and you can ignore him as well. Life will be more peaceful if you acknowledge that not everyone will like you, even in a family setting.