Probably your parents shower your brother with gifts and everything he wants while you barely get anything that you ask of them. And you keep wondering why he gets everything. Is he their favorite child? Aren’t you doing enough to make them proud? What should you do to get their attention like your brother?
It’s hard for parents to accept they have a favorite child; it’s considered a parenting taboo. But Favoritism from parents is more common than many parents would admit. Parents try to be fair to all children, but sometimes it may happen. A good example is when one child is fussier than the other one. A parent may be drawn to the calmer child, unaware the fussing child is feeling neglected. There are various reasons why your brother may get everything, and it might not be Favoritism. Read on to understand why parents seem to give one child everything and the positive gains you can achieve instead of feeling neglect.
He Is Younger
If you are the eldest child, you may feel left out because your younger brother gets everything he asks for. Like asking for various gifts for his birthday, and while you ask, you get half or little of it. He also needs more attention from diverse needs, and you might be more independent. Your parents want and expect you to be more independent in doing some chores that might be hard for your brother. Many first-born children always feel like their parents neglect them. Parents expect them to do more than their younger ones and receive less appreciation. Parents need to balance their attention. The younger ones have more needs than you as the older ones. If you are or about to hit the prime teenage, your parents are trying to empower you to be more independent.
Every parent knows each child has a different personality; there are those with a weak and strong character. Probably your brother has a more vulnerable personality despite him being older than you. You could be better in academics but get little appreciation, and he could be average and gets praise more than you. It can make you feel unappreciated despite your efforts. Some parents may go ahead and shower him with gifts while you get a bit of it.
Having a better understanding of your different personalities will help you stop comparing yourself with your brother. He may get everything, and your parents are probably doing so because they know he needs a little more understanding and push. When it comes to you are capable of achieving a lot without much attention and showering of gifts. There are positive and negative effects on children who feel they don’t get everything like the other sibling, in this case, your brother. Read on to understand them better and choose a path that will work for you.
You Become Stronger and Independent
While your brother gets everything they want quickly, you have to work hard to get what you want. Probably you have to get better grades than you did previously or have to do some chores and get a reward. It may seem unfair to you, but it helps you become a more independent person in a positive way. You may have to start working at an early age to get what you want. You become stronger as a person, and you can make independent choices. It prepares you for your future years where you are likely to excel. However, it can have some adverse emotional effects.
When one child seems to get everything, it can affect the other child emotionally, and anger can get the best of them. They may get angry toward the parent or the sibling who seems to be favored. It can create a rift between siblings, and the one neglected may likely be rebellious. Relations between parents or the favored child can become deficient as the neglected one feels out of place in their own family.
If you feel like your brother gets everything while you get little, it would be wise to talk to your parents. Perhaps your brother has needs that you aren’t aware of, or they are training you to be more independent. Tell them how it makes you feel when giving everything to him while you get little and sometimes have to work to earn it; instead of getting angry, focus on getting independent with a will to succeed. Revenge by becoming successful than him, it will make you feel better about yourself.