You cannot get everyone to like you. Some people will not even if they are part of your family. Your aunt is no exemption. She could have her reasons as to why she doesn’t like you. Maybe you have never wronged her and wondered why she acts in a hostile manner towards you.
There are toxic people by nature, and your aunt could be one of them. Probably you have read about toxic friendships, relationships, and even work colleagues. But toxic family members is a topic that many would rather not talk about. Read on to find why your aunts dislike you and how you can handle her hatred towards you if it’s affecting your wellbeing.
She Doesn’t Get Along with Your Parents
If your aunt does not get along with your parents, they will likely trip over you. It’s very insensitive for any adult to hate a child, whether young or older, just because they don’t get along with their parents. Unfortunately, it happens more than anyone would think. If you find your aunt does not get along with one of your parents, you can sit them down to know what happened between them. You will have a better understanding of what happened and learn to keep your distance.
Insecure people often compare themselves with others, and if they feel like you are better or ahead of them, they turn against you. Probably your aunt thinks that you look or do better than her children. If that is the case, she may be putting you down verbally or ignoring you to lower your self-esteem. To know if your aunt is insecure, you will realize she doesn’t agree or like how you do things, favors her children or others to the point of excluding you in family pictures. She may also ignore you while addressing others or pretend not to notice you.
You Are Her Scapegoat
If your aunt struggles with low self-esteem, work-related issues, or relationships, she could be looking for someone to fuel her negative energy. It feels excellent when a weak emotional person gets another person feeling the same. A lot of people join the hate wagon to get a scapegoat for their problems. There is also an aspect of the ego. People with ego problems are always trying to put others down to prove themselves. Here are ways you can handle your aunt and other toxic family members.
Don’t Anticipate Change
You can’t reason with someone who already looks down on you. They have an opinion that is always the best, and you have to go with it even though it is against your policies. That’s the character of toxic people, and you will always be on the receiving end. To avoid the confrontation or make your aunt feel bad, you will always go with whatever she says. But you keep wondering why she dislikes you.
Please don’t pick up with your aunt or any other person whenever she tries to pick at you. Instead, please focus on the positive people and save your energy for people who care for you as you do for them. Sometimes make your decision and stand firm with it. Don’t expect a change any soon.
You Don’t Need to Spend All the Time with Her
Your aunt may not be all toxic, agonizing, and uncaring with you on purpose. Maybe she cares about you and has good intentions. But she becomes harmful to her needs, and the existing forces you to compromise your happiness over hers. It can be hard to stay away from someone you care about, but it is the best way you can live and be yourself. You can’t be trying to be useful in the eyes of someone else; it’s often draining. You will have to make your well being a priority. It may mean staying far or loving your aunt from far. You may love spending time with her, but however painful it can be, you have the right to leave and create a healthy space for yourself.
Understanding the Cycle
Toxic people have a cycle that can be of great help if you can be able to master it. They start by being sweet, probably you have experienced this with your aunt, and they earn your trust. Next, they will be rising demands and pulling your emotional resources. Then comes the crisis, and you start feeling stuck and eventually gives in to what they want. Please beware of the cycle from someone you feel like they hate you.
Having an aunt you probably cared about and looked up to them makes you feel like they don’t like you can be hurtful. You can choose to talk to someone close to you about how you feel and the reasons behind your feelings. If you speak to her and nothing is changing, it would be better to keep your distance.