Most parents learn to fear the teenage years. As teenagers carve out a path to adulthood, parents may notice distinct changes in their behavior.
One of the most obvious changes in behavior is how your child feels about you. While most children grow up feeling close with their parents, this rarely stays the same when they enter their teens.
Teenagers long to express their growing independence and may take this out on their parents. What may have been a friendly relationship can easily turn into one full of animosity. If your son is a teenager, chances are they say that they hate you from time to time.
Is it normal for my teenage son to hate me?
Teenagers are emotional, and any small change can affect them. While your teen likely doesn’t hate you, they may feel as high they can’t share the truth with you. Listen to your child. I
f your teenager feels like you don’t understand them, they may shut down. If they feel as though they can’t trust you, they may feel more inclined to ignore you.
How do I support my son?
Parents that that are recipients of teenage hate shouldn’t take it too personally. Teenagers often cycle through their emotions very quickly.
Know that your son’s hate is only temporary. As they navigate complex emotions, you must be there to support them. Parents must provide consistency, support, and guidance as their teenager looks to them for support.
How can we improve our relationship?
Parents may not be able to turn “hate” into love overnight. However, this shouldn’t stop you from reaching out to your child. Even as your child may say they hate you, they need your input.
Stay firm in your rules and guidelines as you try to improve your relationship. This consistency will help them understand what behavior is acceptable.
In addition to being firm with your teen, remember to be gentle. While their ever-changing emotions can be frustrating, try to understand what they’re going through. Offering them a listening ear throughout their teenage years will help them relate to you better.
Is my son in trouble?
Teenagers often react emotionally to other issues in their lives. If your teen is excessively rude or hateful towards you, it may have nothing to do with you.
Consider this outburst as a cry for help. Try to ask your son if there’s anything that he wants to talk about. This “hate” may be a cover for trouble with school, friends, or life in general.
Though it may take some time, getting to the root of your child’s emotions will help you understand them better. In doing this, they’ll likely see that they don’t hate you.
Does my son feel uncomfortable?
Another potential cause of your son’s newfound hate may be closer than you realize. If there’s any trouble close to home, your son may feel uncomfortable. When facing family issues, your son may lash out if they don’t feel safe.
For example, children that are experiencing the fallout of a divorce may be especially unhappy. If they direct their anger to you, you may find that they act hatefully toward you.
While you may not be at fault, it’s difficult for children to separate their discomfort when it comes to complex issues. In a scenario where your son feels uncomfortable at home, it’s important to communicate with him.
Find out what exactly is making your child uncomfortable. Make a concentrated effort to help your teen feel stable.
Understanding teenagers’ emotions
Teenagers are a complex group. As they grow and develop, their hormones and ever-changing bodies contribute to the shifting emotions.
Make sure your son can safely explore their feelings throughout the years. Encourage open communication by making your home a safe space. While it may take your teenager a while to soften up, know that they won’t hate you forever.