Many parents miss the days that teens used to be little ones. Now that they’re in their teen years, our children aren’t as warm and cuddly as they used to be.
As they get older, teens tend to lash out more at their families as they struggle to find their own voice. While it’s important for teens to assert their independence, they also need to be mindful of their behavior.
If your teen is hurting your feelings, there are a few different approaches you can take. If she hurts your feelings at the moment, consider sharing this with her. Point out how something she said or did doesn’t feel good to you.
Your teenage daughter may not realize she’s hurting your feelings. As she grows close to adulthood, she’ll experience many different emotions. In an effort to process her emotions, she may take the frustration out on you.
Whether it’s intentional or not, she may view lashing out at you as a way to let off some steam.
Why does my teen hurt my feelings?
Teenagers often end up hurting their parents’ feelings as they attempt to assert their identity. As their brain is still developing, they start to see themselves as separate from their family.
Though it’s important for your teen to develop her own sense of self, she needn’t hurt your feelings to do so. Embrace the fact that your teen is changing, but make sure she is respectful as she does.
While your teen may grow to believe that living under your roof is restricting, they need rules and guidelines. Stick to your guns as you stand your ground as a parent. While she may say rude and hateful things, she’s grateful for the stability and support.
Demanding a certain level of respect will force your teen to see how their behavior is affecting others. As she navigates the ups and downs of adolescence, she’ll be more mindful of how she’s treating you.
Give your teenager some space
While it may be aggravating to be around someone who hurts your feelings, your teen needs some space to grow. Give your teenager the opportunity to grow into their independence.
While you should instill boundaries and guidelines, remember that she needs her own space. Let your teen have time to connect with their friends and spend time outside the house. Her emotional connections with her peers is an important part of her emotional development.
Understand what your teen is feeling
Teenagers often lash out when they don’t understand how they’re feeling. While you may not understand this behavior initially, taking the time to feel what she feels will help you do that.
It’s very likely your teenager is experiencing a mixture of insecurity, fear, anxiety, and similar emotions. As she tries to fit in with her peers and do well in school, she may feel as though she has little control over her life. This is especially true as she gets closer to adulthood. Make sure your daughter knows she can rely on you, regardless of what’s going on.
Know that your daughter loves you
Your teenage daughter needs you. While she may lash out at her parents from time to time, she still loves you. Teens don’t always know how to express their feelings to their parents.
As they try to assert their independence, they may find their parents’ rules to be stifling. Try not to take it personally if your daughter lashes out at you. Though you should correct the behavior, know that this anger and rudeness won’t last forever.
Continue to try to reach out to and connect with your daughter. As she realizes that your love for her isn’t changing, she may warm up eventually. Your daughter won’t be rude to you forever. Hold out hope for a better relationship in the future.