Teenagers often run hot or cold. While they have major mood swings, it isn’t uncommon for them to dislike their parents.
Many teenagers even hate their parents. If your teenage daughter hates you, you’re not alone.
It’s sadly normal for teenagers to hate their parents.
Having your teenager hate you is par for the course when it comes to parenthood. While this four-letter word packs a punch, oftentimes teens use it to push parents away. Underneath the rocky exterior lies a scared child that longs for their parent’s love.
Though hearing the words “I hate you” may make anyone turn and run, your child is hoping that you’ll stick it out. During this complex process, teens are beginning to realize their identity as they transition from child to adult. Part of this process involves separating themselves from their parents.
Does your teen really hate you?
Even though she may not hate you, your daughter is creating distance by making you feel as though she does. Though this causes most of us to turn inwards and lash out, avoid doing this. Instead, make an effort to correct your teen’s behavior while you let them take the necessary space.
While your teenager may not expect you to respond to hate with love, try to do so every time. Let them know there’s nothing they can say or do to push you away forever.
Teenagers say things they don’t mean. Don’t do the same.
Hate is an intense word that your teenage daughter may use too freely. It isn’t uncommon for a teenager to scream that they hate their parents out of frustration. The truth is that teenagers need their parents now more than ever.
If your daughter ever expresses that they hate you, understand that this is just for the moment. It may not feel good to hear these words, but your daughter is just now learning how to deal with their own emotions.
Think about what you were like at that age.
Remember that your role is to be a parent to your child. While you have had a close relationship in the past, relationships can and should change. During their teenage years, children are learning to gain independence. As they do this, they actively work to grow apart from their parents.
While you can’t stop your daughter from “hating” you, you can tell her what behavior is and isn’t allowed. Instruct your daughter to stop being rude to you and to treat you with respect. While this may not bring you closer, it will set the tone for how she should act around you.
What can I do to support my teenage daughter?
In many cases of teens hating their parents, this word is a cry for help. Your teen needs you now more than ever, so be strong. As teenagers grow up, they rely on their parents more as advisers and guides.
Make sure your teen knows that you are there to support her, no matter what. While they may not like your guidelines or rules, having these in place will help them grow.
Is your teenager full of rage and about to self-destruct?
If your teen daughter hating you is only the tip of the iceberg, it’s time to take action. Teenagers often exhibit rebellious behavior to cover up feeling lonely, afraid, or insecure. Instead of getting angry at your teen for misbehaving, make sure they’re able to feel safe with you.
Give your teen the opportunity to work through their difficult feelings. Let her know she can speak with you and give her the opportunity to talk to a therapist. Getting through these feelings takes time, but having the opportunity to do so will help your teen unpack their emotions.
Working through this period where your teenage daughter hates you is tough. While your feelings may hurt, remember that this isn’t forever.
Eventually, your teenager will be able to form a new relationship with you. Make sure you’re waiting with open arms once your teen daughter is ready to talk to you again.