Parents’ hearts soar the day their child says, “I love you” for the first time. These heartfelt words don’t seem hard to come by until children enter their teen years.
If you’re parenting a teen, it can feel as though she’s forgotten what love is. While you often express your love for her, what she feels towards you seems more like hate.
Why doesn’t my teenager love me?
Teenagers’ behavior can be quite confounding for parents. Your teenager may freely say, “I love you” to her friends and even her partner. In spite of this, she may not say it to you.
While your daughter rarely says how much she loves you, understand that she does. Even though your teen’s actions may hurt, they don’t really communicate what she’s feeling inside.
Your teen is likely going through a wave of different emotions. In her efforts to fight these emotions and make sense of them, she tries to distance herself from her parents. As her behavior shifts throughout her teenage years, she still relies on her parents for unconditional love.
Is my teenage daughter upset with me?
Oftentimes, teenagers act out and avoid their parents simply because they are growing up. What may seem to be a disrespectful teenager may really be your daughter facing inner conflict. With changing emotions, a growing body, and a shifting social status, your daughter may simply be struggling.
Why is she taking it out on you?
As the authority figure, you are the person your daughter relies on for structure. The more your daughter feels out of control, the mirror she’ll rebel against you. Ultimately, your daughter isn’t upset with you; she’s trying to find herself.
What do I say when my daughter says she doesn’t love me?
Hearing your own daughter say that she doesn’t love you can be incredibly hurtful. While you may want to lash out yourself, stay calm.
In these tense situations, it’s important to keep your cool. Your daughter’s emotions towards you are only temporary. Avoid adding fuel to the fire by keeping your personal emotions out of it.
If you need a second to collect yourself and cool off, do that. Try to respond to your daughter. Let her know that her behavior is making you feel bad. As you express your true feelings, be sure to let her know that you still love her.
In her effort to become more independent, she’s trying to push you further away. While she seemingly wants you to leave her alone, she’s desperate to know that you still care for her.
How can I improve my relationship with my daughter?
If it seems as though your daughter doesn’t love you, know that this isn’t the end of your relationship. With some persistence, you can reconnect with your daughter as she tries to come into her own.
Let your daughter know that you still want to connect with her, regardless of how she makes you feel. While your daughter likely knows how mean she’s being, she needs to know that you still want a relationship with her.
How should I respond to my daughter?
While you can’t punish someone for not loving you, you can discipline your daughter for being rude. Your daughter’s rude disposition is likely a call for attention.
Don’t try to get your daughter to like you by going easy on the rules. Keep the established rules in place to make sure you’re giving her the guidance she needs. While she’s likely to rail against them, she needs and wants these boundaries.
Don’t let your teen intimidate you to the point that you aren’t properly parenting her. Though it’s hard to do, stay strong and keep your boundaries up.
Keep trying to connect with your teen. While she may say she doesn’t love you today, tomorrow may be a different story.