Feeling the tension between you and your son’s teacher can create anxiety. You want the best for your child. If there is a conflict between you and his teacher, you may not feel he gets the education he deserves. Fortunately, most teachers are professional and won’t let their feelings influence their behavior toward your child.
Your feelings may not be based. Teachers are often short on time. They try to fit conversations in between class transitions or before or after school. This may seem abrupt, or you may be interrupted. It doesn’t mean your son’s teacher dislikes you. An experienced teacher is used to these interruptions. They may not realize how it feels to you. Keep your emotions in check while you come to a solution.
Check the Facts
What is the reason that you think your son’s teacher doesn’t like you? Have you been rejected for volunteer duties? Does she seem short or terse when speaking with you? Has she specifically specified that she has issues with you? Unless you have had a specific conflict with her, you are going only on your feelings.
Talk to Your Son
Ask your son what he thinks of his teacher. If he gets along with her and feels that she is fair, there is nothing else to worry about. Even if your suspicions are correct, she doesn’t need to like you. The relationship is between your son and his teacher.
Of course, if you feel that she doesn’t like you, you may still want to mend the relationship. It is normal to feel uncomfortable if we think someone doesn’t like us. However, you won’t have the urgency you may experience if the teacher’s feelings are affecting your child.
If your son feels that he is treated differently, you may need to talk with the teacher. Remember, you are only getting one side of the story. Talk to him, but be prepared to listen to the teacher’s versions of events.
Talk to the Teacher
The easiest way to manage conflict is by improving communication. Get in touch with your son’s teacher and make an appointment. Let her know that you feel your relationship with her got off to a rocky start. It is important not to sound accusatory when doing so. Ask if there is anything you can do to improve the situation.
By talking to your son’s teacher, you may find there are no problems at all. She may also mention some issues. If your son is disruptive in class, doesn’t complete his schoolwork, or otherwise requires extra attention from her, it can create problems. As much as she may not want to admit it, these problems may spill over to her feelings toward you. This can be the root of her dissatisfaction. If she has contacted you about the behavior and doesn’t feel supported, it can create resentment.
Think About Your Behavior
If you walk out of the meeting and still feel there are unresolved issues, take a look at your behavior. There are certain types of parents that create issues in the classroom and make the teacher’s job harder. She may have nothing against you. It is normal to feel tension toward someone who creates problems with your work.
One thing that causes teachers problems is going over their heads. If you or your child have an issue with the teacher, go to her first. Going straight to the principal is an overreaction if you have not addressed the issue with the teacher.
Another issue that complicates classroom dynamics is a parent that is overly involved. Walking your child into the class, hanging right outside the doorway, chatting with other parents, and just generally always being there can create problems.
Finally, don’t be that parent that always has an excuse for their child. If the other students manage to complete their homework on time, complete projects, and get along with their classmates, your child can do the same. If not, work with the teacher to come up with solutions.
Be Available to Help
While you don’t want to be disruptive, you should be available. If you feel that your son’s teacher doesn’t like you, it may be due to feeling overwhelmed and overworked—volunteer to help if you can. Having a volunteer parent can make a teacher’s job easier.