My Sexless Marriage Is Killing Me

A sexless marriage is when your spouse has no interest in you when it comes to bedroom affairs. Sometimes in marriage, things are only okay when you are new in a relationship. However, as days and years go by, you stop feeling the passion you once had for each other. This kind of relationship is common in marriages, but it has severe consequences as far as keeping your marriage is concerned.

So, the question is, what may cause a couple to have a sexless marriage? And does this have a damaging effect? Is there a way of fixing it? To learn more about this and much more, stick to this post and ensure that you read to the end.

What Is the Cause of a Sexless Marriage?

Most legendary couples are known to have sex more often. However, studies have shown that a couple who has been in a marriage for a long time usually has sexless marriage. It may reach a point where the two of you stop having sex completely.

Therapists say that when this happens, it could be a sign that there are deeper issues in that relationship. It could be resentment, lack of emotional intimacy or trust, or even boredom. If these things are present in your relationship, it could be the reason why your spouse doesn’t want to get intimate with you. These are key things that should not be ignored in a marriage because they can destroy it. 

Is a Sexless Marriage Damaging?

There are a number of things that sexless marriage can do to you. First, it destroys your self-esteem. Sex connects couples, and it is a sign that love between two people still exists. Once sex ceases to exist, then it means there is no longer love in that relationship. If you feel not valued or loved, it makes you lose your self-esteem.

Another thing that sexless marriage can do is that it may lead to divorce or separation. Once sex is not there, it makes that marriage lose meaning and, therefore, the couples may decide to part ways to find a fulfilling sexual relationship with another person.

How to Fix a Sexless Marriage

Though sexless marriage is common, sex therapists say that it may not be what it seems to be. It could just be a misconception that a partner forms in mind. So, it is good to analyze what is going on first before jumping to conclusions.

Talking things out with your partner may help you find out the root cause of the problem and fix it together. It would help if you found out what the problem is, how it started, and how long it has been going on. It is the only way you will be able to deal with your sexless marriage issue.

When to Walk Away from Sexless Marriage

While there is no healthy or normal sexual activity or desire, sexual marriage may be the basis of your divorce.  If you are in a marriage relationship, whether or not you will go, your separate ways will depend on how you value sex in that relationship. When sex is working for couples, there is usually nothing to change or worry about.

However, where one partner feels that he or she is unhappy because of the lack of sex, you should speak about it. But there are chances that communication between couples may turn out to be futile, and nothing is going to change. In this case, the unhappy partner can walk out of that marriage and find happiness with somebody else.

Important Consideration for Spouses

Note that divorce should be the very last option after exploring all possibilities. Sometimes your spouse may not be sexually active for genuine reasons. Maybe he or she is disabled, is ill, or unable to have physical intimacy because of a sexually related health condition.

If he or she has any of this, it is different from being unwilling to have sexual intimacy with you. It is only that the condition he or she is in does not allow him to fulfill your sexual desire. In this case, you need to understand your partner and find a way out of this instead of walking away.


Sex in any marriage is very important. It is part of the things that keep married partners together. If there is no sex, it means that the relationship is missing something. However, as explained above, there is always something you can do to solve the problem. If you can’t iron out the issues on your own, you can reach out for professional help.