Babies are all born unique. Early on in the newborn phase, the individual physical attributes often are not as pronounced. Some parents even joke that their babies look a bit alien after they born. After about a month of age, each baby begins to become less pink and more features dominate.
Moms can be very critical. Once moms can leave their homes and begin participating in mommy and baby playgroups, they may start o judge themselves and other moms. This is common though it is not healthy behavior. We are all judgmental about ourselves and should not worry so much about how we are parenting or what our baby is doing.
Babies develop at their own pace and also mature differently as well. The same is true with kids of all ages. A fantastic example of this is middle school. Middle school students can sometimes still be very petite and look as though they are in elementary school while others may look years older and as though they belong in high school. Babies have the same characteristics. Some babies will simply be larger than others and look older than others even though they are the same age.
It can almost seem impossible to be around other moms and their babies and not compare yourself and their children. A lot of parents also feel as though some babies are cuter than theirs. It hits closer to home if you think that your friends’ baby is cuter than your own. So how do you overcome this?
Acceptance Is Key
Just as adults have to accept the fact that there are good looking people and average looking people in the world, they must also accept the same is true for babies. There is nothing wrong with this. Your baby may be adorable, and there is a good chance your friends’ baby is cuter. So what? This shouldn’t change your feelings about your friend or their baby. Babies’ appearances change drastically as they age, and there could come the point where your baby ends up being cuter.
Realize That Something In Your Life Is Making You Feel This Way
When we feel as though our children are inadequate, it is often a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. This may require you to dig a bit deeper to find the source of your concerns. In some cases, it can be postpartum, making you feel this way, and it is recommended to speak with a professional. In other cases, you may feel as though you are not looking as you once did and be projecting that towards your baby.
Perhaps It Isn’t Looks But Rather a Style.
Maybe you are confused, and you think your baby is not as cute as your friends’ baby, but it comes down to style. Sometimes accessories such as a baby hat or headband can completely pull together a look for a baby and make them look very well put together and adorable. Is your baby always in pajamas or wearing a hodgepodge outfit while your friend’s child is in a cute matching set? You may simply need to dress up your little one a bit to feel entirely different about his or her appearance.
Take A Deep Look At Your Friendship
Take a deep look at your friendship with your friend. There is a possibility that you are not judging your baby, but rather you are judging yourself and your relationship with your friend. Maybe you feel as though your friend looks better than you do and is more pulled together than you do. Recognizing this is the first step in correcting this train of thought.
Focus On Yourself
When you focus on yourself and your own physical and mental well-being, you look past other less important things. It is easy to worry about your baby’s looks when you are putting to much focus on his or her appearance. Instead of worrying about that, just make sure you have met the major criteria. Your baby should be clean, fed, happy, and comfortable. If you have achieved this, then you are good to go. Worry about yourself a bit more.
Things you can do to put some focus back on yourself:
- Go on a walk
- Work out
- Read a book
- Return to a hobby you once enjoyed before kids
- Join a mommy meet up group
- Keep a friend without kids a priority.
Focus On Your Baby
After you have taken care of yourself and focused on your mental and physical health, you should also focus on your baby. Go for walks or enjoy some time at a park. Do not concern yourself with what your friends are doing. Worry about your baby and your relationship. Your baby’s happiness will trump your concerns about his or her appearance.
Consider Fewer Play Dates With Particular Friends
If you find yourself continually judging yourself and your baby after certain playdates, then it is time to consider this a sign. Perhaps the people you are associating with are not good for you, and you should seek out play dates with other friends.
When you are in a friend rut and find yourself unhappy, judgmental, and worrying about your baby’s development and appearance, then it is time to branch out a bit. Libraries and park districts are great resources to meet new mom friends and storytime and work out hours. A lot of these programs are free or low cost but do require registration. This is a fantastic way to meet other moms and babies within your community.
Following these eight helpful tips should help you to put a lot less focus on why you feel as though your friend’s baby is cuter than your own. Appearances change as babies develop, and it is important to build relationships and create memories rather than worrying about looks.