Your daughter is crazy about her boyfriend. Unfortunately, the whole situation is driving you crazy. No rule says you have to love her boyfriend, but what do you do when he’s causing a major rift between you?
My Daughter’s Boyfriend Is Ruining Our Relationship
It may have happened gradually. In the beginning, you may have liked the young man. You may have thought he was an excellent match for your daughter. Over time, however, you’ve realized he’s causing problems between you and your daughter.
Maybe you knew he was bad news from the first time you met him. Since then, things have only worsened. You once had a good relationship with your daughter, but now you’re constantly fighting with her. The subject of most of those fights is her boyfriend. You don’t think he’s good for her, but she won’t listen to a word you say.
He Is a Bad Influence
Is he an addict or a criminal? No parent wants their daughter hanging around with someone who lives a risky, dangerous lifestyle.
You can’t keep your daughter under lock and key to make her stop seeing him, but you can enforce your rules. If your rules require her to stay away from him, enforce them by whatever punishment you can. Cut off her phone service if she’s on your plan. Limit her use of laptops and computers. Don’t let her use your car.
You can stop the screaming matches by staying calm and letting her know she has to follow your rules while in your home.
He Takes up Too Much of Her Time
Parents often think their kids’ love interests take up too much of their teens’ time. Your daughter may spend every spare minute talking to him, hanging out with him, or talking about him. He’s become the center of her universe.
An obsessive relationship is never healthy, but remember, teenagers experience their first love as all-consuming. They think it’s the end and the beginning of the world. If you think your daughter’s relationship is becoming unhealthy, it’s time to talk to her.
Don’t jump to criticize her. Just listen for now. The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open. If you think she’s becoming obsessive, it may be time to remind her that she has another world of school, family, and friends she has neglected.
He Mistreats Her
Has your daughter landed in a relationship with someone who mistreats her? It’s horrible to see your daughter put up with cruelty, cheating, or other forms of poor treatment. Girls do this when they feel they deserve nothing better. Why does she feel that way?
Your daughter needs help to find her self-worth. Get her involved in activities where she can excel on her own. Boost her self-esteem by letting her know how much you value her. She may need therapy to learn to stand up for herself.
Talk to her without criticizing her or making her feel even more inferior. Tell her you support her and that you know she deserves more.
Is his mistreatment abuse? If your daughter is with a physically abusive boyfriend, she needs more than talk. You may need legal action to keep this man away from her.
If he has hit her, go to your local courthouse to request a restraining order. If he has assaulted her in your home or damaged any of your property, you can get a restraining order in your name if she won’t do it.
If your daughter tries to defend him, don’t argue with her. Make it clear you won’t tolerate that behavior in your home.
Talk To Your Daughter
The most important thing you can do is talk to your daughter in a calm, nonthreatening way. Let her know what your concerns are. Above all, let her know you’re always there to support her.