Parents are typically on guard when their child enters into a relationship. While teenagers enjoy getting to know new people, no parent wants to see their child get hurt.
For this reason, the people our kids choose may not always like us. This is especially true when it comes to teenage daughters dating for the first time.
Is it normal for my daughter’s boyfriend not to like me?
Not all parents get along with their child’s partner. Whether something about them rubs you the wrong way or you think they’re a poor fit it’s hard to hide your dissatisfaction.
The same is true about the teenagers’ partners themselves. If your teen’s boyfriend doesn’t like you, it may already be painfully obvious. Though you can’t force him to like you, don’t let him disrespect you. If you notice your daughter’s boyfriend is often rude to you, say something. In some situations, teenagers are often disrespectful because they don’t know any better.
Giving your daughter’s boyfriend boundaries will encourage him to act appropriately with you and your teen. If he continues to be blatantly disrespectful, you may need to take drastic measures. A partner that is rude and disrespectful is a signal that your daughter’s headed for a troubled relationship.
Is my daughter in a troubled relationship?
If your teenage daughter’s boyfriend doesn’t like you, it may mean a few different things. If your daughter is in a troubled relationship, her boyfriend may try to push her away from you. In doing this, they will act as though they hate you to get her to do the same.
If your daughter is truly in a toxic relationship, you need to talk to her. Point out the concerning qualities you’ve noticed about her partner. Make sure she knows that you’re concerned about her and aren’t trying to control her relationship.
Is my daughter worried I’ll judge her?
In another scenario, your daughter’s boyfriend may not be fond of you for other reasons. Many parents fail to realize when they make their children uncomfortable. For example, teens that experience harsh judgment or disappointment from their parents may not always feel open around them.
For this reason, your teen’s partner may worry about how you make their girlfriend feel. If your daughter constantly feels as though she disappoints you, her boyfriend may feel similarly and dislike you for it.
I hate my daughter’s boyfriend
If your daughter’s boyfriend hates you, the feeling may be mutual. Despite this, if your daughter continues to date this person, it may be time to try something different.
If you’re not fond of your daughter’s boyfriend, there’s still hope. Consider giving him a second chance. While you may hate him now, take some time to get to know him. Over time, you may realize how wrong your initial impression was.
How should I treat my daughter’s boyfriend?
If you truly don’t like your daughter’s boyfriend, try to give her the space to figure things out on her own. Simply set guidelines for how, when, and where she interacts with him as she continues to get to know him.
Both your daughter and her boyfriend are still growing. It’s likely that their relationship won’t last forever. While his hate may soften over time, the relationship itself may disappear before that happens.
Supporting my teenage daughter’s dating
Even if your teenage daughter’s boyfriend hates you, don’t punish your daughter for it. While her choice in partners may aggravate you, his behavior says more about him than you. Continue to support your daughter so she doesn’t feel that you are judging her.
Your daughter needs to know that you believe in her and aren’t trying to micromanage every aspect of her life. In all likelihood, your daughter will see her boyfriend’s behavior around you and address it herself. As your daughter sees her boyfriend for who he is, she’ll make her own decision.
Don’t give up hope if your boyfriend’s daughter hates you. Whether or not he changes his mind, make sure your daughter knows you want the best for her.