A good relationship between you and your in-laws is significant in your marriage. You want them to come and stay with you and keep their sister company when you are out. There is no problem with that. It takes trust to invite your in-laws to live with you under the same roof. You are putting yourself between a hard place and a rock because they will take notice of how you live.
You could be looking for something for him to do with his life. Once he’s got a job, you expect him to move out and begin his own life. Perhaps get married and have kids. However, you begin to lose your cool when years after years go by, and there’s no sign of him leaving. Now that’s trouble!
You talk to your wife about it, but it seems that’s not enough. You can’t think of throwing your in-law out! How will your wife view you? What about your wife’s family? How will they perceive you? These questions leave you with no option but to let him stay. But even in his stay, you want him to go. What do you do? That is the question that this article looks forward to answering.
Why He’s Not Leaving
Your in-law is not ready to leave your house because of several reasons. You should look into these reasons keenly if you want to separate but remain, remain friends. Here are some of the reasons we have highlighted.
Attachment to You
The problem could be that he is used to living with you and his sister. He can’t picture living alone in an empty house. For instance, if he’s been living with you for more than five years, you are already family to him. This theory could explain it, mostly if he has never lived on his own.
Fear of Being Responsible
If your in-law has been living in your house for a long time, that means he has not been helping settle bills. He has not been paying rent or lighting. So as a result, he has grown to fear taking responsibility in his life. Once he gets out of your home, he has to take care of everything single-handedly. That is a custom that he is not familiar with at all.
Irrespective of what his reasons are, you should not be the one to encourage laziness. He has to grow up and be a man. But how do you handle this carefully without letting it get out on the wrong note? Fortunately for you, here are some helpful tips for you.
Talk to Your Wife About It
Sit down with your wife and talk about the issue that is troubling your peace. Tell her why you feel it is time for her brother to leave. Remember that it is her brother in question. Please don’t make it sound like you’re not like him. If your reasons for him leaving are genuine, you shouldn’t fear telling your wife about it.
There is no decision that is too big for a family to make. After agreeing together as a unit, you can now go to the next step. Once you have all reached a consensus on the matter, it will make it easier for you.
Talk to Your Brother-in-Law
The mistake that is common among husbands is leaving this responsibility to the wives. As the man of the house, you should take the initiative of talking to your in-law about your decision. Make him see the need. Whether it changes is about to take place in your house. Maybe you want to enjoy some privacy with your wife.
As a man, he will understand. Though he may not understand fully now, he will see it later when he has his own family.
Help Him Move Out
To express concern for your in-law, you can choose to help him look for a house to rent. Unless he asks you to let him do it alone, you should help him. With your wife’s help, you can help your in-law with any necessary preparations so that he doesn’t feel alone.
However, do not do everything for him. Only do what you can. A lot of pampering may backfire on you.
When All Options Fail
Consider the possibility of failing to accomplish your goal even after doing everything right. What do you do then? Discuss with your wife and go the legal way. With the help of a lawyer, you can get your in-law a court order for him to leave your home.
You must converse with your wife every step of the way. Never make any decision without her consent if you are planning to have a happy marriage. Be open to her about your feelings and your desires. Together you can overcome any obstacles safely.