My baby isn’t my boyfriend’s baby.
Honestly, no one ever thinks that you will be in a situation like this. Of course, you want to go to school, meet the perfect guy, fall in love, get married, and then have kids. I think by now we all know that this is not how most stories end up. So for the ones who get that perfect story, you should be ecstatic. For the ones who get that reality check, this article is for you!. This article will offer you some tips on how to cope when you have a story with a boyfriend but a baby by someone else. It is not the perfect story, but it is your reality. Stay tuned because these tips will help you get through one of the hardest situations known to man.
1. Be Open and Honest With All Parties Involved
The most difficult thing to do in a situation such as this is, to be honest. It usually stems from acts of deception of some form. There are usually some unknown details, and to have a conversation, you have to sit down and divulge everything. So to get started, you have to be open and honest. This can be tricky in some cases because it matters who you are dealing with. There are some instances where this is impossible. Some people are just not the type of people where this can occur. It is worth a try unless you are dealing with violent individuals. In that case, this may be a step that you just have to skip. There is no reason to risk harm and injury, no matter the case. This is a very serious situation, and some have been hurt and killed over these types of situations. If you feel that a conversation about this can even go in that direction, then it is best left alone.
If you feel that you can have a sit down with everyone, you might kill two birds with one stone and get everyone together and tell the story one time. Get it all off of your chest at once. It will be less humiliating and stressful. If not, you can talk with everyone separately. Whatever the case may be, when it is all over, you will have told the father, your boyfriend, and even any other potential candidates, or close friends the real information and the air will be clear from their forward.
2. Decide Who Will Stay In The Picture
Now that everyone knows the real deal, you have to decide who you want in the picture. Often, when dealing with a baby, this can be simple. Sadly, many people delete themselves without any arguments. There is not much you need to do as a mother. The fathers will either say they want to be a part of the child’s life or run away. The boyfriend will accept the paternity of the other man or not accept it hence keeping himself around or deleting himself. Whatever the case, you decide what you will do at this time. Do not make a hasty decision. Put some thought into who will be the best choice based on their reaction to the news of paternity. The only that can not be disputed is that you have results of paternity, so the father is responsible for taking care of the baby financially, but your boyfriend can choose to stay or go. If he chooses to leave, it may be best.
3. Make Certain That Whoever Remains Cares For Your Child
When deciding who will stay, you had to take into consideration who cares for the child, but you could not off the top of your head know who cares. This will come in time. You must put more thought into this. Throughout this process, you should watch all of the actions of both men to see how they respond. Pay attention to their words. Look at their reactions and emotions. Watch their mannerisms and nonverbal cues. All of this will show you how they feel about your child. In the end, you want the best person around your child. Many women have found that the person they thought should be around their child was not the last one standing.
4. Secure Child Support Through Court Order
Raising a child is not all about money, and of course, you know that, but it would be a lie to say that it doesn’t take money to do so. It takes tons of money to bring a bay up in this world. They need formula, diapers, medicine, and other items daily. They grow constantly. It is not just up to the mother to pay for the items that the child needs, it is also up to the biological father to pay for those items as well unless the father is giving up those rights. If the father is signing over those rights (to the boyfriend, for instance) and the boyfriend signs the birth certificate, then he is responsible for support. The child should be taken care of financially in some form by two parents. You should be diligent in making sure that your child has as much support as possible so that he or she does not lack any of the necessities in life.
5. Take Care of Your Child
Easier said than done, but it is the fun part! Taking care of your child will challenge you, but we tend to think of it as a welcomed challenge. If your boyfriend decides to stick around for the challenge, he will not be disappointed. He will find that helping raise a child will bring him joy. He will aid in the masterpiece of the life of a human being. They will bring us tears of joy and tears of pain on so many occasions throughout those years, but when you look back, it will all be worth it.
When you find out that your baby isn’t your boyfriend’s baby, it isn’t the ideal situation, but it isn’t the time to give up either. It is time to realize that you are an adult and in charge of another human being. You have to dig your heels in and bear down. You stand back and access the situation so that you can make rational situations to do the right thing. If you:
- Be Open and Hone With All Parties Involved
- Decide Who Will Stay In The Picture
- Make Certain That Whoever Remains Cares For Your Child
- Secure Child Support Through Court Order
- Take Care of Your Child
You will have no choice but to overcome this little speed bump in the road. There is an entire world out there for you and your child to conquer. What are you waiting for?