My baby ruined my life!
So you’re here now! You are a parent. It may not be what you wanted or what you chose. You are responsible for some little human being. You have to keep them alive. You are in charge of feeding and clothing them. Ultimately, you have 18 good years of seeing about another person on this earth, and it seems as though your life was ruined. It may sound cliche, try to look at the bright side of things. You still have your life. It is not much you can do about the fact that you are a mother. That part is true, but there are ways that you can try to make it better or at least deal with the cards you have been dealt with. Try some of the coping mechanisms that have been listed for you in this article.
1. Be Honest! Point Out What The Real Problem Is
When you feel anything has ruined your life, the first step is to get to the root of the problem. There is no solving it until you know where it has come from. In an instance where it involves your baby, you need to figure out if the issue is that the baby makes you unhappy or is it other things.
Most likely, it may be you are unhappy about your relationship with the father or your weight gain. You may be unhappy with the lack of a social life afterward or your finances after having your child. Now you may be unhappy with your fatigue or the million other changes that have happened since the birth of your baby. If you can pinpoint why you are unhappy, you can start the process of fixing some things. Get more rest. Find a better job. Get help with the baby. Dump the deadbeat father. Join a gym. You see, all of these problems stemmed from having the baby, but the baby isn’t the problem. The baby can turn out to be what lit a fire under you to head down the road to be your very best self.
2. Take Back Control of The Things You Can Control
In life, there are things that we just can’t control, and we have to accept those things. There are, however, things that we can control. The key is figuring out the things that we can control and do just that. When we can’t control it, LEAVE IT ALONE! When we can control it, take that control back. In a situation where you feel like your baby ruined your life, you probably feel like you are pulled in so many different directions. You must prioritize. Many people do not run by a schedule, but as a mother, you will have to to stay sane. If you want to have a little time for baby and still be a “person,” take the extra time and make a schedule. You will appreciate how it will help you simplify your life and take back control.
3. Bond With Your Baby
Yes, it seems that the baby is the problem, so telling you to bond with your baby sounds a bit crazy. Babies are amazingly calming creatures. They can make things “okay” no effort. When things get you down, scoop him up, and get some bonding time in. Getaway for a minute together. Do it often so that you can begin to know each other’s moods. You will notice how you can change each other’s moods. You will gain a new appreciation for baby, and your feelings will start to shift about him or her so that all of the other stuff won’t matter. You will begin to care less about hanging out because you have a best friend at home. You will push to better yourself because you will want to do those things to make a better life for you and your new best friend.
4. Change Your Surroundings
Meet new people. Go to new places. The best way to revamp what you feel is a nightmare is to wake up and find your self in totally new surroundings. This is easy because you don’t have to use lots of money by traveling the world. If you have money to do that, then that’s fine, but you can do something as simple as start eating at a different restaurant or visit a different church. Take your baby to a new park. Great ideas include going places where you can enjoy the company of other parents who have children of the same age. Often, you get the “my baby ruined my life” feeling because you have friends with no baby. If you can find some new friends who have situations similar to yours, then they can offer ideas that will help you cope much better than those of your friends who have no responsibilities.
5. Live A Little – Live A LOT!
Despite what people think, having a baby doesn’t mean the end of “you.” You can still live. If you feel that your baby is ruining your life, then you probably already feel this way, but try to change that mindset. This is a misconception. There are daycares, babysitters, and nannies on-call all day. Those can get expensive, so be sure to stay in contact with responsible grandparents, siblings, and relatives (of age) children. If those options fail you, you can always find other kid-friendly places. You would be amazed at how many places this day in time you can go that have made ways that you can bring your children to events and have a blast.