I’m Pregnant and Want to Divorce My Husband

parents about to divorce with baby

When walking down the aisle, every couple hopes for a happy ever after. However, as marriage unfolds, things may get tough, and divorce becomes the only remaining option. The divorce process is not a walk in the park. Before you can sign on the dotted line and your spouse becomes your ex, there is a lot that you have to go through. Finding out that you are having a baby is another significant moment in your life. There is a lot to prepare for before your baby arrives, not to mention taking care of yourself.

If both divorce and pregnancy are taking place at the same time, the situation can be overwhelming. The divorce process is much more complicated if you are pregnant compared to when you are not pregnant. Read on to understand whether you should continue with divorce when pregnant and how to go about it.

Can You File for Divorce When You Are Pregnant?

Ideally, your divorce file case is acceptable even if you are pregnant. All processes of the divorce process will follow as they could have if you were not pregnant. In fact, according to divorce lawyers, a good percentage of couples filing for a divorce deal with divorce and pregnancy at the same time. This is because some of the issues that lead to divorce are about child-raising. For instance, the couple may argue on discipline, religion, or the paternity father. Having a baby is stressful and has many issues that can shake even the best of marriages.

How Do You Cope with Divorce While Pregnant?

Both divorce and pregnancy are stressful moments that demand a lot from you. If you are not careful, you may lose your baby or have an over-complicated divorce process. For this reason, if you have to go through both of these issues simultaneously, you need to brace yourself with tips to guide you through it. For instance, consider living close to your spouse so that they can support you in case of an emergency. If your relationship is too complicated for you to live close together, have a friend or relative living with you for support.

On the other hand, use people who are close to you to help you prepare for the baby. Let them help you in baby shopping or remind you of the appointments that you need to make. Additionally, get a reliable and good lawyer who will give you knowledgeable counsel to help save you time and stress in the divorce process.  

Is Pregnancy Addressed in the Divorce?

One of the first things that you mention when filing for divorce is that you are pregnant. For this reason, all decisions following respect that you are pregnant. When filing for divorce, you file the ‘Response to petition about marriage’ form where you state whether you are pregnant. After filling this form, the law presumes that your spouse is your child’s legal parent, whether or not they are the biological parent. This helps decide who will settle with the child after birth.

Why Should You Reconsider Divorce During Pregnancy?

Being pregnant and going through a divorce is one of the most stressful issues in life. Your pregnancy is at a higher risk of complications and miscarriages when dealing with both of these issues. For this reason, it is advisable to rethink divorce during pregnancy. You can consider giving your marriage another chance or postponing filing for divorce until after birth. Some of the reasons why you should consider postponing divorce are:

Pregnancy Hormones Make You Overwhelmed

One is often advised against making serious decisions during pregnancy due to overwhelming emotions. At times, you may see the problems that make you consider divorce because you are pregnant. Even if there were problems before pregnancy, you would be better positioned to think about them without influence from the pregnancy hormones.  

Being Pregnant and Raising a Child Alone Is Tough

Pregnancy and child-raising are challenging and require high commitment and effort. For this reason, before you consider divorce during pregnancy, remember there is a great task ahead of you that is tricky to handle on your own. Additionally, children thrive better when raised in the presence of both their parents. Therefore, consider giving your marriage another chance for the sake of your baby.

Pregnancy and divorce are both demanding times in your life. Both of these life-changing moments are trickier if they happen at the same time. Consider completing your pregnancy term before you can handle the divorce process for the sake of your health and that of your unborn baby.

The news about a positive pregnancy test mostly comes with different reactions. One could be thrilled, disappointed, or confused about the entire matter. This may largely depend on a person’s preparedness for the same.

Moreover, there’s an emotional roller coaster that sets in. Hormonal changes are the key players in these dynamic instabilities. Sometimes you might feel overwhelmed with the pregnancy and feel as though all is not well. Having a supportive relationship during this period is vital.

However, you may find yourself repulsive towards the person who could offer this positive support; your husband. You even want to break the relationship because the relationship no longer works. Why is this so? Could this be mistaken?

Closely consider the question of divorcing before making that tough decision…especially while pregnant. You need to carefully weigh matters to know whether your reasons are valid enough. You further need to assess yourself to gauge whether you are acting out of your emotions or not. 

Despite the self-assessment, you must go beyond it to think of your soon-to-be-born child.

It is necessary to consider the common reasons for the break up during pregnancy. Here are some of them;

Unsupportive Partner

During pregnancy, women go through a lot of changes, both physical and emotional. A supportive partner’s need is crucial at this stage, both for the mother and the unborn child’s sake. When such is lacking, you feel neglected and burdened as a woman. As a result, you may think of separation.

Abusive Relationship

For any relationship to thrive, love is paramount. It doesn’t mean that there wouldn’t be disagreements as this is common to all. However, with every misunderstanding, time should be taken to iron out the differences.

There are some cases where there is abuse, either physical or emotional. Such spell danger to both your health and that of the unborn baby. In most cases, walking away would be prudent.

More Diverse Reasons

In some instances, the chances are that the relationship was already rocky. The pregnancy, with its highs and lows, serves to make the reality clearer. As such, the only option that exists before you is parting ways.

It so happens that some women tend to hate their partners during pregnancy. Hence, they desire nothing to do with the man, thus a reason for divorcing even while pregnant.

Depending on the reasons that best apply to your case, there are relevant measures that you could consider.

Talking to Your Husband Before Divorce

Dialogue, in most cases, helps in solving issues that may cause havoc in a relationship. Try to have some time to talk to your husband about your reasons for wanting the divorce. You can speak about the concerns that have brought about weaknesses in your relationship.

You can find solutions to your problems after the dialogue. Unresolved issues are known to cause divorces; however, with matters resolved, you might salvage it.

Seeking Counsel

There’s a common saying that in a multitude of counsel, you decide a matter. Speaking to a professional relationship counselor could go a long way in helping your situation. The therapist will walk you through your reasons and help you determine their validity. From this standpoint, it is possible to make a decision that you won’t regret later. With a concrete position, you may see the wisdom in divorcing despite the pregnancy.

Hold on for a While

The therapist might detect unsoundness in your reasons. The desire to leave your husband may purely be out of the hormonal changes happening within you. In such a state, making a decision may not be prudent enough. The counselor might advise you to wait until after delivery to make your decision.

This will buy you more time for you to make a more sober decision as you will now be able to weigh all options. At this stage, you will distinguish more distinctly whether you had reasons or you were only emotional.

Make Plans for Your Baby

One cannot force a relationship even if a child is involved. However, the child needs to be taken care of at all costs. If you decide to go separate ways, you need to plan for the child’s welfare. It is necessary to make decisions on issues concerning the child’s support and general well-being. You also need to talk about the father’s role in the child’s life to visit the child.

It is crucial to settle this matter extensively to ensure that the child will always be safe in the future. At the same time, the baby will receive support from the parents.

Do you need a child custody lawyer while pregnant and divorcing?

First of all, we are sorry you’ve found yourself in a situation that has you contemplating hiring a child custody lawyer. But if you’re pregnant and want a divorce, it might be in your best interest to listen to your gut. Before you do, let’s dive into the topic of divorce a bit more and explore what makes it unique during pregnancy.

Sometimes life unfolds in mysterious ways and things don’t always go to plan. Instead of life becoming better after the birth of your child, things went downhill. After frequent disagreements and an inability to meet in the middle, divorce was the only logical choice.

As if there wasn’t enough hesitation before pulling the divorce trigger, now you’re dealing with another qualm: do you need a child custody lawyer?

Although self-representation would be the ideal scenario, it’s typically not recommended nor logical. Going to court without proper representation can result in a less-than-ideal outcome that may have been avoidable.

Below are 12 situations in which retaining a child custody lawyer would be advisable:

There are zero compromises during the pregnancy

Some couples are able to divorce and reach amicable outcomes without legal interference. With pride and emotions at an all-time high, decisions may be made simply out of spite. If this perfect situation doesn’t apply to you, you should hire a child custody lawyer.

A child custody lawyer will help you to remain impartial and see things more logically without the blinding veil of anger, revenge, jealousy, etc.

Just as you shouldn’t make a decision while under the influence of alcohol, you shouldn’t make decisions while under the influence of such intoxicating emotions either. If you’ve found yourself in this situation, you are able to file a request with your local court to seek assistance in reaching an outcome solely based upon your child’s best interest.

Divorcing during pregnancy isn’t clear-cut.

Explaining a highly involved situation can sometimes be interpreted as a “word soup” to a third party. When you’re in front of the judge, you don’t want to deliver a hodge-podge of words that are void of facts and chock-full of emotion. By having a child custody lawyer represent you, you’ll greatly increase the likelihood of winning your custody battle.

Especially if you’re pregnant and wanting a divorce, that is a situation that isn’t clear-cut.

Once the child custody arrangement reaches a level of intense complexity, it is wise for a parent to hire a child custody lawyer. Your attorney will be able to help you navigate confusing, complicated situations concerning your divorce and the future custody agreement.

Divorce if You Cannot Agree on What’s Best for Unborn Child

When parents start to disagree based on feelings rather than indisputable facts regarding what’s best for a child, hiring a child custody lawyer is advised.

If you’re pregnant and want a divorce, it’s really unlikely you’ll agree on what’s best for the child’s future.

If you cannot decide or agree on what course of action would best suit your child, you need the court to intervene. Keep in mind that mediation is also available and can be less intimidating. For those couples who cannot meet in the middle with mediation, your child custody attorney will be able to professionally escalate your case to a higher court.

Divorcing while pregnant is a huge life transformation.

Throughout the duration of your previous relationship, things were likely somewhat predictable. You probably weren’t about to move out of state or do something radical. But when divorce happens, predicting the future becomes impossible. Once anxiety replaces stability, all bets are off.

If either you or your ex plans on undergoing huge life transformations, you’d be wise to hire a child custody lawyer to assist you in navigating an uncertain future.

Court-Mandated Classes, Therapy, or Courses

You should hire a child custody attorney if the waters are likely to be muddied by things like court-ordered classes. Just as you wouldn’t want to tell a job interviewer that you can’t work Tuesday nights because you have to attend an anger management class, you don’t want to leave a similar impression on the judge either.

Not hiring a child custody lawyer in situations like these can backfire. If you’re representing yourself, you may slip up while talking in court. You run the risk of saying something that may make the judge question how seriously you take these court-ordered mandates.

If either you or your ex is involved in anger management, parenting, alcohol treatment, etc. you will want to hire an attorney to help mitigate not starting off with a clean slate.

Don’t Forbid Visitation After the Birth

Has your ex ever canceled on you at the last minute when you were scheduled to see your child? Or is he/she not even answering the phone when you try to schedule a visit? If you’ve tried reaching out to your child only to have your ex interfere, it’s time you level up the playing field.

Maybe your ex can ignore you, but he/she cannot ignore the long arm of the law. If such dismissive behavior is occurring in your relationship, hire an experienced child custody lawyer to fight fire with fire.

Provide Notice of Divorce Proceedings (Even While Pregnant)

Were you checking the mail one day only to discover notice of legal proceedings regarding your custody arrangement? Or maybe a court server knocked on your door to utter three famous words: “You’ve been served!”

Upon receiving a court order that your ex initiated, you’ll need to follow suit with a child custody lawyer of your own. While it’s possible to represent yourself if your former partner is doing the same, a skilled attorney will make the process much more efficient and less anxious.

Are multiple jurisdictions involved in this pregnancy divorce?

If you and your former partner live in different states, there may be different laws at play. Tackling these nuances alone is a tricky (and risky) endeavor. You’ll want to hire a child custody lawyer who is fluent in dealing with multiple jurisdiction cases.

Can you afford a divorce lawyer while pregnant? Can your ex?

Well, it looks like your ex beat you to the punch. If you thought trying to negotiate with your ex was hard enough, imagine how complicated things will be now. If money is an issue for you and not your ex, you can recruit some free legal help. Contact your city courthouse for more information on how to obtain free assistance.

You don’t want to end up with an unfair outcome because your ex hired a child custody lawyer and you represented yourself. Don’t live with those what-ifs. It’ll be torture.

Hiring a child custody lawyer while pregnant might impress the judge.

Hiring a child custody lawyer can impress the judge. You can demonstrate your ability to financially support your child by hiring a private attorney versus free representation. While this certainly isn’t necessary, it can deliver an unspoken message. However, facts speak for themselves. Therefore, if the facts strongly side in your favor, you can win against even the best child custody lawyer.

Does either of you change your mind about divorcing?

You’re pregnant and trying to divorce, so don’t deal with your wishy-washy ex alone. Determining where your child resides isn’t something to take lightly. If your ex is constantly changing his/her mind and backtracking, it’s time to find a child custody lawyer.

While your ex may feel OK with you one day, perhaps the next day is completely different. Don’t run the risk that your flaky ex will try to convince the court you’re unfit.

The moment your ex backtracks and changes his/her mind on previously agreed upon situations, excuse yourself and seek legal representation.

It’s like that popular saying, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Is your unborn baby in danger if you don’t divorce?

This one goes without saying. If you suspect your child is in danger, you need to rescue your baby from this situation. Sometimes you can skip hiring a child custody lawyer if you can call the police and prove your ex is a criminal.

If your ex is doing something that places your child in danger, call the police. If he/she ends up in jail, you’ll likely end up with custody even if it’s only temporary until the final verdict is ready.

Divorce is a plague that no couple should experience. It is breaking from prison to some, while to others, it is the beginning of a new life, but it is often a life of misery.

Until now, I have never come across any literature that tries to explain the chemistry behind a divorce. How do you define a man or woman falling out of love with their partner? It is surprising how a couple can reach a point where they cannot stand each other. They can’t bear living with the same people they couldn’t live without a couple of years back.

When you are expecting a baby and are heading towards a possible divorce, it could be challenging. Being pregnant is a privilege that many women do not have. Children help strengthen the bond between couples. The problem lies in being pregnant when you are going through difficult times. You don’t know whether you should celebrate or not.

In this article, we are going to answer some of the questions you may have. If you are in this dilemma, this article is for you. Read on!

Save Your Marriage First

The first step to make in your situation is to save your marriage. Don’t let go quickly. There is no perfect marriage. The reason being that the couple is never perfect. Marriage is between two imperfect people who are brought together by one mutual feeling called love.

Your weaknesses bring about the problems that accumulate to cause a collapse. You can always work on these imperfections. Therefore, before you consent to the divorce, work on settling your differences.

Initiating Dialog

The beauty of marriage is that it helps you know your partner better. You get to know your partner’s soft spots. You also get to know your partner’s weaknesses and strengths alike. But above all, you also get to know yourself.

Before visiting a marriage counselor, you should sit with your husband, humble yourself, and talk about your marriage. Do not focus much on giving your baby a father. Your brothers can play that role for your baby. But instead, focus on being a family.

If this fails, bring in a marriage counselor. However, this will be perfect if your husband is willing to try it out. But if he is not, do not lose hope. You can decide to do it alone. It is an excellent gesture to him that you are serious about making your marriage work.

Slow Down the Process

Slowing down the divorce process may play a significant role in saving your marriage. It has saved others. It may save yours too. Remember, it is not for you only but your baby’s sake too. This divorce will affect them in one way or another.

Fight for your baby with all the strength you can gather. At the same time, do not waste yourself in the fight. Remember that you are an expectant mother. It is your responsibility to provide the baby with a healthy growing environment.

When Reconciliation Fails

There is a probability that your efforts may fail to yield fruit. It is always a hard bone to chew. Yet, it is a reality we still have to accept. Even after you have done your best to save your marriage, it may end up failing. It could be because your husband was unwilling to make it work for reasons best known to himself.

However, you still have two options based on your agreement. If the child’s father is willing to be there for his baby, you should consider remaining in that area. Remember that your baby will need a father figure in their life growing up.

The second option is to move to where your family is. The males in your family, who happen to be the baby’s grandfather and uncle, may take up fatherhood roles. They cannot replace the biological father, but they can give your baby a father’s attention. Every child needs this.

Move On

Your physical, emotional, and spiritual health will significantly determine the general well-being of your baby. Babies need an environment that is suitable for their growth.

Eat healthfully, do not live in misery after a divorce. Dwell on the positive side of your condition. Consider that baby as a blessing and your reason for living.

Forgive your spouses and let them go. Accepting changes and coping with them is vital for healing.

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