So, you have the feeling or thought that your baby may be gay. That is great news! Gay individuals tend to be more emotional minded, considerate, and even creative than their heterosexual counterparts. So what can you do to help your baby during their childhood? Well, here are 5 tips to help you if you face this situation:
1. Open a line of communication:
Starting from their very first words, you should be encouraging your child to talk. Of course, once they are toddlers and are just full of words, and energy, they may get on your nerves with the constant stream of dialogue. Just do your best to avoid admonishing or even punishing them for talking to you. You want to keep the idea that they can talk to you about anything and everything instilled in them from the very beginning. Again, do your best to avoid the pitfalls of discouraging their lines of communication with you and keep reinforcing the thought to them about talking to you about everything.
Ask them about their day, once they go to daycare or school, and listen to what they have to say and engage them by asking them follow up questions. Another way to encourage an open line of communication, which will help when they become preteens and teens, is to share your problems with them. Not major life-altering stuff but let them know the check engine light came on and ask them what they think we should do about it.
Share the process of solving the problem that you take with them so they realize that everyone has problems and that talking about things with you can help them to solve issues that come up. You will be glad you did when they get older and are pressured by their peers to not share as much with you, if you have a wide-open line of communication with them at this point then they will still come to you with the big and important stuff.
This will help if they do end up being gay because coming out to the parents has rated among the top fears of gay youth and is one of the biggest milestones they face and will remember for the rest of their lives, if they know that they can talk to you about anything then this moment will happen sooner and the two of you can share more throughout their growth process as they become fully functioning adults.
2. Be Supportive:
This may be common sense and something every parent strives to be, but it is even more important if you think your child may be gay. This is because they will face more hurdles and obstacles during their childhood than other children. If you are their rock, the type of parent who is always there with an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, then as they experience these bumps in the road during their youth they will be more likely to grow and mature healthily into an adult. In many ways, it will keep them from becoming angry and resentful towards the world which will keep them level headed and focused on the important things rather than focusing on all of the negative things they will experience.
3. Help them express themselves:
Helping your child express themselves will help nurture their talents but it will also be an outlet for many emotions that they will experience throughout their youthful period of life. If you provide them with an outlet for these emotions by letting them try out new things, such as how they dress and their fashion choices or letting them make a mess by painting a masterpiece in the backyard, then they will grow with a sense of who they are. It will give them a way to show the world exactly who they are instead of hiding and bottling up their emotions and thoughts.
Overall, this will create a healthier and more well-adjusted adult who can succeed in any and everything they attempt to do later on in life. It will also help them during their childhood because they will struggle less to figure out who they are and focus on being that person instead.
4. Nurture their natural talents:
While there are all kinds of people of every orientation, and while we do not wish to lump everyone into a category of any kind, studies have shown that gay people do tend towards being more creative and talented in many areas of expertise than their straight counterparts. So, if you nurture your gay child’s talents while they are young, it will mean they will be that much further along in the professional growth when they get older than other people.
Even if your wrong about your child and they turn out to be straight, they will have had a parent who supported them trying new things to find what they were good at and supporting or encouraging them to practice those things more. No matter what your child’s sexual orientation when they grow and mature, they will be further along in whatever they choose to do with their lives. They will be instilled with confidence by having tried and failed and then trying again in many different things if their parent lets them, but especially so if their parent encouraged this behavior.
5. Accept them for who they are and do not try to change them:
This last one is difficult for some parents but is probably the most important one of all. Every person is unique and needs to be who they are inside on the outside. Trying to change your child or force your expectations onto them can force them to hide who they are which can cause them to withdraw from you and the world. If you wish to raise a happy and healthy adult, it starts by letting them be themselves in a safe and nurturing environment.
Most of our 5 tips revolve around this premise and accepting them and helping them to grow into who they are by being nurturing and accepting of who they are as a person, whoever that may be. You may have always wanted that star quarterback who dates the head cheerleader kind of son, well here is a shocker to some, this is unlikely and isn’t something you can create or mold them into if this is not who they are. Now if they show an affinity for football and want to play, them let them and teach them everything you know. That is all fine and dandy, but if your son likes to play with dolls when they are young, don’t discourage them and tell them they shouldn’t do that because of your hang-ups as an adult. Rather sit with them and play house together.
No matter how much you hate the idea of it you will be happy for the memories and the relationship it creates in the long run. Just do not force a personality on to your child, let them grow and come into being who they are on their own through all the trials and errors they will face. Be there for them always and you will make up for all your slip-ups, mistakes, and errors you make as a parent.