New moms eventually turn to seasoned moms because their babies grow up. Although you will be excited for this to happen, it can be very saddening. Most moms are eager when it begins, but are overcome with dread when their baby is no longer a baby, and you will hear most mention how much they miss their baby. There are no real solutions, just tricks and tips to help cope with the inevitable. Keep reading to learn of some clever ways to deal with this process. You will find five very neat tips that will keep you focused on the journey that your child is going through.
1. Don’t Be Afraid To Go Down Memory Lane
This is a hard one because it is stressful. Parents are stressed because it makes you sad. Children are stressed because it makes them anxious. Regardless of the emotion, most would like to avoid it. The reality is that it should be addressed and addressed often so that the emotion can be minimalized. Going down memory lane can be a good emotion because it can bring up really good memories for all parties involved where neither will feel like they are losing each other. You, as the parent, for just a few moments in time, will feel like you have your baby back. You don’t have to use this tip over, just bring it up ever so often when you guys are having family dinner on holidays or phone conversations when the perfect time arises.
2. Check-in Often
I know that when your child gets older, their schedules grow as well. This may mean that they are in high school with a long “to-do” list or off at college. There is still time to make a quick check in call. This is the day of ever-growing technology, so no one will fault you if you send a simple daily “good morning” text. Checking in should be your way of keeping in touch and making sure that all is well. Your child will never know that it is also the way that you handle your emotions about him or her growing up. If your child is at college, you can Skype or Face Time to say “Hello” each week to get updates. If you start it off when they first go and keep it up, it will be the norm. They will not expect anything different. Try making holidays special, where either you visit your child, or they come home. If that is what you expect, it will be what you can plan for. (www.bottomlineinc.com/life/relationships/how-to-stay-close-to-your-kids-when-they-grow-up-and-move-away)
3. Spend Time Doing Things That Your Child Likes To Do Now
We all get stuck trying to live in the past. Your daughter used to enjoy playing with dolls for hours, but now she loves fashion. You try to engage her with dolls in the dollhouse, but she is uninterested. If only you had sat on the floor with her and made those tedious bracelets, you would have had time with her for the rest of the day. You have to notice when your child’s interests change. (www.liveabout.com/staying-close-to-your-daughter-1270125) They give you plenty of hints as to what they are into, but you have to pay attention. Sometimes as parents, you don’t want to accept that they no longer like the baby toys, but if you want to keep them in your life longer, you should embrace what they are into now and see if they will let you be a part of some of those things.
4. Acknowledge That You Miss Them
This is much easier said than done. (www.huffpost.com/entry/things-i-miss-most-now-that-kids-are-grown_b_9307300) No, not saying the words. It is quite simple to say that you miss your child, but usually, it will not be received as well. Your child will most likely shy away from you because they are eager to grow up. Most children are in the biggest rush to be the biggest adult that they can ever be until they get there. Then they would like to lose all of that responsibility. But that is a total of another blog… To help with coping with missing your baby, you should tell them and mean it. Make sure that they know that you are proud of them and who they have become at the same time. Tell them why you miss the baby, but tell them why you love the person that they are now. This will help secure a spot to remain close to the person that they are growing into now.
5. Support Their Endeavors
As your child continues to grow into the person that you have taught them to be, I know you would like to be there. The best thing that you can do is to support them. You must support them in all that they are doing. Guide them in the right direction. If they veer off course, positively critique them back in a good direction. Set a good example for who they should be and what they should be doing. Try to give good advice if they should come to you with questions. Do not be overbearing as parents often can be, but let your child make some mistakes on their own so that they can learn how to pick themselves up. Know your role and when to step in. This will gain their respect with you quicker than any of the other tips listed in this article and will catapult you further in their lives very fast.
Sitting back and watching your babies grow up can be a very difficult process, but it is an inevitable one. There is no way that you stop it. I know you may not feel this way now, but sooner or later, you will probably be excited about the adult that you have “grown.” These five tips and tricks will help with your acceptance process:
- Don’t Be Afraid To Go Down Memory Lane
- Check-In Often
- Spend Time Doing Things That Your Child Likes To Do Now
- Acknowledge That You Miss Them
- Support Their Endeavors
Be sure to talk to your child about any issues that you have and breathe through this process. It will not be a cakewalk, but one day you will look up, and you will be at the finish line. Good luck with your endeavor.