I hate my toddler!
Do you hate your toddler? It can be a hard thing to admit (when you can’t stand your children). You have to know at the same time you are not alone; many people are in the same boat.
Raising children is not for the faint of heart. There are times where there might be a disdain for what you have given birth to. There could be a lot of shame in hating your toddler. However, it is always best to be most truthful with yourself. While you are truthful with yourself, it is equally important to get to the root of why you might hate your toddler.
In this post, there will be some ideas given to help you soul-search a little on this topic.
You are just tired.
Let’s be real; parents get the least amount of sleep than anyone else in the world. When one is tired, emotions, stress, and negative thoughts become exaggerated. Long bouts of tiredness do not help you resist emotions that are not helpful for you.
If you have been truly lacking sleep and rest for an extended amount of time, give yourself grace. You may even want to do a personal study of what lack of rest will do to you mentally and emotionally.
Then, seek to find ways where you can incorporate bouts of rest. Even if you can sneak in just 20 extra minutes a day, that can be huge and how you relate to your toddler.
Your life has changed too much.
What is there in life that can prepare you to be a parent? No one understands the gravity of how much life changes when a child comes into the picture.
If this child has created too much change that you don’t like, that could be a root of the hate. You missed the life that you had before, and truthfully that’s OK. It is OK to miss what once existed.
Look down the pathway of the near future, is there a way to incorporate at least one thing that you miss? If you can begin to bring back elements, it will ease some tension you might have with your toddler. Having just ONE thing back in your life(that you loved, pre-toddler) could make a huge difference!
You are not getting enough help.
Whoever mentioned that it takes a village to raise a child was correct! It is no small thing to raise a child while not having the proper support. The fact that toddlers don’t understand life and needing a break only elevates the negative feelings.
Everyone may not have the option to call a family member or a babysitter to help with the children. Consider other methods of help. Many cities offer a Mom’s Day Out program. Where several days a week, you can drop your child off during the day and have a break or run some errands.
Having someone else deal with your toddler for a little while can cause you to miss your baby. Through a program like Mom’s Day Out, you may be able to find some babysitters or other hands of help.
Also, being involved with such a program will give you direct access to professionals who deal with children. You can inquire and get advice on areas you find to be problematic for your toddler.
Your toddler is simply unruly.
Some toddlers are just bent a certain way, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You know in your heart of hearts that you have not raised a bad child. There is just a streak in your little one that causes so much disruption. It’s hard to enjoy your child.
Some children are just born with a very strong will. They are strong-willed for a purpose that might be revealed later on. However, that doesn’t make it easier in the meantime.
At this time in our history, there are so many classes and workshops for toddlers. You can enroll your kiddo in something where they get to use their strong will, yet, be shaped by a coach or a mentor.
Classes that are shaped around sports or martial arts, work with kids strong wills-at the same time, teaching them how to be respectable and kind human beings.
Sometimes it takes the influence of an outside person to help shape the harder edges of our kids. The great thing about kids having input from trustworthy people is that it takes some of the pressure off parents. It can make parenting a toddler more enjoyable.
You’re not sure you ever wanted to be a mom.
It’s hard to find yourself in situations that you never really wanted to be in. That alone can cause some hate, especially when it comes to having a child. There is a lot of inner turmoil, “I was never sure I wanted this in the first place, but I’m stuck.”
The remedy for this might just be a process. You will have to be patient with yourself and your toddler. Remember that every person born on this earth has an opportunity to be a remarkable human being.
The reasons we were all born are often a lot greater than what we are told by the people in our lives. You might have in your hands the next Pulitzer Prize winner. The next New York’s best selling author. A Doctor Who comes up with some amazing cures. You just never know what you gave birth to.
Seeing your child from that perspective can shift the negativity into the beautiful enlightenment-the type of enlightenment that will change your life and the trajectory of your child.
Keep looking for your exit out of hating your toddler. It might take some time, but mindset shifts are just a decision away. Finding new ways to receive help or get help is out there. Whatever you do, don’t lose hope in finding what you need because it’s always out there.