Help! My Childrens’ Father Hates Me!

A parent can become angry and stressed for several reasons. One could simply be trying to adjust to the newborn child. Such an issue can take time to be able to adjust. Another big factor which comes into play would be the parents. Not just with how the parents can handle the child, but each other. Many people come into obstacles when it comes to caring for the child and their significant other. Sometimes such a relationship between parents can become sour and hard to mend. It is common for some people to drift apart and hard to get over simply. But there are methods to deal with such issues.

Communicate with the father

Communication is key to a big issue. If you truly believe the father of your child hates you, figure out why. Do a bit of thinking on your own before confronting the father. Try to see if there was something that could have triggered such an issue. Think of what you may or may not have done to upset the father. Try not to get upset while figuring it out, think with a clear mind. Do not get too angry or stressed out over the problem-simply think of what transpired prior. See if there were any signs to show the father was getting upset. See if there was a sudden change in his mood after an event. Once you have figured the trigger out, confront the father. Try to apologize if you may have done something to offend the father. If you have done nothing, simply ask why the father hates you so much. If there was something which happened between the two of you that caused his hate, ask if there is any way the two of you can gain a positive relationship someway.

Keep it Civil

In such cases, one must be able to just deal with a negative attitude. Though it may be hard for both you and the child, baring with it for a while would be for the best. Within time, there could be a chance to mend old wounds. If you two are not living together and have certain days of the week for the child, be civil. Respect each other’s time with the child and do not be aggressive with one another. Not only when the child is present, but when the child is not present. You do not have to make small talk with each other to break the ice. Simply corporate with one another for the child’s benefit. Let the father know you truly care about the child and want the child to have two parents. Let the father know the child is yours too, and you have a right. It wouldn’t be fair for the child if both parents were not in their lives over a feud. Let the father know the two of you do not have to like each other but have to work together. Do it for the benefit of the child.

Do not involve the child.

Regardless of what is going on between you two, the child should not be brought into it. What that means is neither of you should try to blame the child in any way. Most likely, if the child is aware of what is happening, conflict feelings might be rising. The child could feel somewhat at fault or simply upset at what is going on. Do not just keep it civil with the father, but also the child as well. Assure the child both you and the father still have love to provide. Your child should know whatever is going on between you two, does not affect the affection you two bare for your child. Also, do not talk ill behind each other’s back while the child is around. Simply let the child know you and the father simply have a hard time to work things out. Do not try to sway the child on either side. Keep the issue between you and the father. Let the father know you will not talk ill of him as long as the same respect is given. Keep it clear and professional between the two of you.

Focus on the child

Within such a relationship, the child is most important. Even if you and the father on going through a rough time, you both still love your child. The father deep down realizes you still care for your child. Do your very best not to let the relationship between the father affect your parenting. They are providing what you need for your child. Focus on the health of your child and education. Focus on how your child acts and behaves. Do your best not to neglect your child. Let the child know you and your father will always be there for advice to give. Be sure to inform the child; you will be there to provide plenty of support. Talk with your child and do your best to bond with your child. Be strong and confident for your child and yourself.

Do not become desperate for forgiveness.

It is understandable to want a healthy relationship between the father, but do not go too far. Do not blame yourself if the fault is not yours. Do not constantly try to win over forgiveness from the father. Such an act could make forgiveness from the father a harder task to accomplish. Try to understand better why the father feels like this. Be the bigger person, and do not hate the father back. Such negativity will solve nothing in the long run. Do not try to guilt the father to come back and stop his hatred. It will only make matters worse. Have enough humility to apologize if you have done wrong and focus on your child. If the father still hates you, no more can be done. Do not feel guilt or anger; simply do your best for your child. As well as do good for yourself.