Am I a Bad Mom for Yelling?
We learn very early in life that yelling is not an ideal way to communicate or get your point across.
In fact, it is inappropriate no matter your age.
It is especially wrong to constantly yell at your little ones. Children are unfortunately on the receiving end of their parents tantrums too often.
Sadly, this messes up your child’s self-esteem, reduces the value they have for themselves, and becomes a model for relationships later on in life.
So, are you a bad mom for yelling? Well, it’s harmful to your children and your kids don’t like it when you yell. It’s best not to do it.
You are your child’s teacher. They are constantly observing you and learning how to be from how you are. You must set the best example for them.
Not only will it help them now, but instilling good behaviors now will help generations down the line.
There are a number of things to understand about communicating:
1. Yelling harms your child.
At least let’s hope not.
The peace you hopefully enjoy in society is the result of good manners. Good manners mean you do not purposely disrupt the peace around you.
They are a sign that you respect not only those around you regardless of age, but also yourself too.
Your children benefit from good manners because they learn to be polite, courteous, respectful, and wonderful to be around.
When you have good manners, you know how to get your point across without being vulgar.
Do you ever regret saying something mean to your child? This fractures relationships. Your children are growing and their identity is formed by how you treat them.
For the love of God, please treat your child kindly so he/she can grow up with good self-esteem.
2. Yelling may result in emancipation.
Have you ever tried to have a friendship or relationship with someone that yells at you and others?
It’s not fun. They make terrible company and are not easy to like for long. Now imagine if that’s how your child feels about you. Shame on you.
Do you want your child to emancipate himself when old enough?
3. Yelling dehumanizing to your child.
Yelling at anyone, especially your children who have no choice but to be around you, is dehumanizing.
Children who grow up in homes where they were yelled at often leave and never come back. This often fractures the relationship and deems it irreparable which is a loss to both parent and child.
It is important to remember that strong relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect. Yelling at someone is very disrespectful. It’s also the surest way to show them that you do not value their self worth or yours.
If you find yourself constantly yelling at your children, it is time to understand and stop your behavior because it is detrimental to everybody.
By yelling, you are damaging your family’s structure, trust, love, and bond.
4. Yelling damages your health and family.
Your immune system can be directly affected by your nervous system which responds to external stimuli from the environment.
This means that when you yell, you increase the levels of certain proteins that could result in cardiac arrest, depression or stroke.
Poor health limits your experiences with your children and takes away from your relationship.
For health reasons, stop yelling at your kids. Also you need to ask yourself how you would feel if someone treated you the way you treat your children.
5. Yelling is a sign you have problems.
If you yell at your children, it is important to find ways to stop.
Remember that you are your child’s teacher. They trust you and will mimic what you do. This will impact your child later in life, such as in friendships, dating, marriage, and more.
By treating your child so recklessly by yelling, your child will constantly be searching for ways to escape you.
To stop this from happening, please take the time to understand why you yell.
Was this behavior modeled to you when you were growing up? Have you done a self-check lately to find out how you feel about yourself? Do you still love and respect yourself?
It is important to do self-checks. They can assist in orienting you throughout life. Practice check-ins to help you understand where you are and what you need to work on to be the best person you can be and the best example for your children.
Being a parent is about understanding that you are your children’s teacher as well as the biggest role model. It is through you that they become either the best versions of themselves are the worst.
Therefore, take some time to reevaluate the motivations behind your actions.
Understand what you need to let go of and what you need to improve on in order to best help yourself, your children, and your family.
6. You lack self-control.
You may find yourself telling your child there is no excuse for bad behavior. Apply this to yourself, too!
Once you have a check-in with yourself, start incorporating some self-affirmations.
Say positive things to yourself like, “Today I am not going to yell at my children. I am going to find another way to communicate that is loving, kind, and nurturing. I want to communicate in a way that will help my child thrive.”
Remember, you ARE able to communicate in a respectful manner toward everyone, including (and most importantly) your children.
7. Throwing away your baby’s love.
Your children love you and only want the best for you. They will not judge you harshly because they know that human beings are allowed to make mistakes. Your child wants his/her parents to be the best people that they can be.
Knowing this will give you room and freedom to grow into the best version of yourself.
Become the best parent your child could ask for. This, in turn, results in your children developing great self-esteem and manners. Wouldn’t you want your child to be someone that everybody wants to be around? Duh! So don’t put out their flame by yelling all the time.
So, are you a bad mom for yelling? Yes.
You are doing something bad when you yell. Sometimes doing bad things can tilt the scale and turn someone who was good into an unbearable person.
Therefore, fill each day with good actions that tilt your scale into being the best person you can be for yourself and your children.
They (and society) will thank you for it.