My baby is ruining my marriage!
You are at your wit’s end. The romance is gone. There is constant arguing. There is no end in sight. You ask yourself, “Why is my baby ruining my marriage?” You are not alone. A lot of parents sometimes feel the way you are feeling. It is important to remember that it is not your baby’s fault. You must know that pointing blame is not a resolution. You must find a way to keep your marriage happy.
Let’s take a look at 12 tips to save your marriage.
1. Take a Step Back and Stop Blaming
If you want your marriage to be the partnership you envision, you must take a step back. You must remove your emotions from the situation. Your baby is a blessing. You must remember that. And you must also not forget that your marriage is a blessing. To restore your marital bliss, you must remove the blame.
2. Get to The Source
There can be so many reasons as to why your baby seems to always be unhappy, to the point of wanting to blame them. Maybe your child is trying to tell you something. For first time parents, this is very important for you to consider. You must remember that babies are super sensitive, and you must pay attention to any changes that seem not to work well for your baby. You could be under or overstimulating them, feeding them wrong, or not getting them enough rest. Talk to your baby’s medical provider to see if they can help you get to the source of your little one’s discontent.
3. Communicate with Your Spouse
When you know what is causing your baby to be so unhappy, you must communicate with your spouse about your baby’s needs. Remind your other half that you need them to be conscious of efforts to remedy your child’s discontent. Communication is vital for any happy marriage, and you must be sure not to cease efforts to communicate. Also, remember that you, your spouse, and your baby will not benefit from a lack of communication.
4. Make Time for You
Are you making enough time for you? You may not be able to reflect on the real issues at hand if you don’t find time to organize your thoughts. Be sure to take time for you every day.
While your baby is napping, meditate, read, or journal. The laundry you have put on hold for 30 minutes will get done a lot quicker with a re-focused and re-charged mind and body.
5. Turn to Family and Friends
Your family and friends are a great support system that you must learn to trust. Be honest with your loved ones, and let them know your struggles and how you feel. You might be surprised to learn that your mother, aunt, or sorority sister from college dealt with the same kind of feelings as you.
No matter what, you must not keep how you are feeling away from them. They are your support system. You must utilize them.
6. Create a Gratitude List
Every day you should grab a pin or pick up your laptop and create a gratitude list. The more you focus on what you appreciate, the things you don’t understand will appear much less severe than they are.
You could just be failing to remember how lucky and blessed you are to have a marriage and child that you forget how worse off your life would be without your family. If you try hard enough, you will be able to come up with all kinds of reasons you are glad to be a parent and a spouse.
7. Make Time for Exercise
It is recommended that you get 30 minutes of exercise each day to benefit your mental well-being. Now that you are a parent, why you would you think that you don’t? It is not just your health that will improve. You also will notice that your relationships improve, and that includes the link with your spouse.
8. Turn to Professionals
You must not be intimidated by the idea of seeking professional help to save your marriage. As you previously read, your pediatrician is a great source to help pinpoint any issues with your baby that could be causing their discontent.
You should also be comfortable with the idea of going to see a therapist. Either take your spouse with you or go at it alone. But if you feel that your baby is running your marriage and your marriage is tanking, you must make any efforts you can to make matters better.
9. This Too Shall Pass
It is super important to remind yourself that tough times always pass. You must also remember that countless other parents feel just like you at times. You have gone through trials and tribulations before, and you will make it through these rough times, too. Remind yourself of your strength and resilience. Just like when you’ve had other tough times, your current problems will also pass.
10. Get Rest and Ample Sleep
For any of your relationships to thrive, you must be getting plenty of rest. Lack of sleep and over-working yourself does nothing to help improve your relationships, and this is especially true with your marriage. If you cannot figure out how to get enough shut-eye, several strategies might help you.
11. Think Before You Speak
Your baby is crying, your spouse just tripped on the pack and play, and you look twice your age. You’re exhausted today. The entire family is. Before you speak, you must pause to be sure that your comments will be beneficial. Sometimes periods of silence communicate more effectively than being rude and short-tempered. When arguments and chaos are brewing, pause before you speak.
12. Make Time for Romance
It is super essential for you to make sure romance still exists. Just because you and your spouse are tired and confused does not mean you should be distant romantically from one-another. These are the times when you need romance. There are several strategies to help you bring back love to your marriage.
Again, you must remember that your lack of marital bliss is not to be blamed on your baby. You should never say to yourself, “My baby is ruining my marriage.” Be paying attention to the 12 tips mentioned above; you will get to the source of your unhappy marriage. While there are indeed other strategies, the 12 tips listed above should indeed help you.