It’s not about fun, but emotional availability. Those deep little creatures, right?
You notice that your baby seems to gravitate towards their Dad.
When something happens, they make a beeline towards their Dad. When it’s just you and baby at home, your baby doesn’t like it when you comfort them or hold them but love it whenever Daddy does.
This can feel painful, but don’t let it do that to you.
Your baby loves you, always remember that.
You cannot compete for your baby’s love with their Dad, and it’s not wrong for your baby to prefer their Dad, it’s a sign they feel more secure with him.
Becoming frustrated and offended are actions that hurt your baby, weaken your relationships with them and build insecurity not only for you but your baby as they grow older.
Is someone jealous?
Being jealous of your baby’s relationship with their Dad will make your baby feel as if they can’t love anyone else, but you and this will become a problem for your baby as they get older. They will either hide relationships that they ought to share with you to protect you at first, but it might develop into resentment because they will never be themselves around you.
Your baby expressing a preference for their Dad doesn’t mean they love you less; they are simply open to developing relationships with people they feel secure with and trust that are emotionally available to them.
You may meet your baby’s physical needs, but emotional needs are important too.
If your baby is completely avoiding you and cries when you hold them, it might be time to understand what message they are getting from you.
Your baby is in sync with you, and babies are in sync with their instincts and emotions; they will not go near anyone that expresses negative feelings about them. That’s why babies have attracted to certain people and not others.
Your baby is emotionally intelligent, that is why it is in everyone’s best interests to navigate this delicate issue well so that it leads to a happier environment and not one full of manipulation, lies, and resentment.
A child’s love for their parents is the greatest.
Your baby loves you.
Children are their parent’s biggest cheerleaders, not just because you are their food source or security, but because you are you.
When asked most children would not have it any other way with the Mommy or Daddy they got, unless the parent has been extremely evil towards the child, which mostly leads the adult now, to simply express how they wish them well, but wouldn’t replace them as Mommy or Daddy.
Look at your own life for this example; your may have had the best relationship with your parents, or you might have had differences with them; your wish is not for them to “disappear” as your parents. You most likely would keep them.
It’s the same with your baby, you are you, and they believe in you. They love you, and you can be secure in knowing that.
Don’t ever feel as if your baby doesn’t love you; a child’s love for their parents is unconditional, non-judgmental, and eternal.
Just as you would like them to be the best person they can be, so they would for you.
Next time your child expresses a preference for their Daddy, smile and re-affirm to yourself: “I love my baby, and they love me too. And I love that they love their Daddy.”
Allowing your baby to develop other relationships:
Also known as giving your baby room to grow.
Babies and children have a strong sense of who they want to be around or are friends with, and you need to respect their boundaries.
Babies are emotionally intelligent and good judges of character. They can discern which relationships are best for them and which ones to abandon.
Babies care a lot about themselves; they love themselves and do not do anything that would go against it.
Seeing your baby with their Daddy is a relationship you should encourage. Their Daddy didn’t carry them for nine months, and it’s a good thing for your baby to be close to their Daddy and share that wonderful relationship with their father.
I appreciate it and love it. It’s a beautiful thing and nothing to be jealous about. Instead, encourage it!
Remember that your baby will sense your insecurity and will either start to hide relationships with others when you are around or resent you for your jealousy or frustration and draw further away.
They will still love you, but they are little divas who like being in the now, darling.
Allow your baby the emotional security of knowing they can form relationships with other people that aren’t you. Allow your baby to experience the love of other people who aren’t you without feeling your disapproval.
Be happy for your baby and Daddy.
Love and support this relationship and remain assured that your baby loves you too.
Have their Daddy assure baby that Mommy loves you!
Your baby might be drawing away.
Babies are highly sensitive to emotions. Their emotions start developing during the 7th month of your pregnancy. This is the time when they become attuned to your energy, your thoughts, and your feelings.
If you were feeling frustrated, tired, and just over it when you were pregnant and happened to blame your baby for it.
They most likely caught that. Oops.
Some babies get over it, but others don’t.
So an apology is in order. A tall order and not with stuff, fake activities together, it has to be authentic availability.
A baby will always gravitate towards the person they feel most secure around the one they feel is most available to them emotionally. Your baby can tell if someone loves them or not. Babies hate to impose themselves on you and will not. They are very polite, aren’t they? If they sense your frustration, they will take their leave and be around someone who isn’t as frustrated.
This becomes a teaching moment for you all.
While you are your baby’s teacher, they are your teacher too.
They are teaching you that love is a choice that we must constantly affirm because it can fade when weakened with hurtful words that are said or unsaid.
Pay attention to how you feel about your baby, how often do you say you love them vs. how often do you focus on the frustration of the situation.
Think of how much you love them vs. all the other things that could be better?
Focus on your love for your baby. Your baby will sense your emotional change and will be drawn to you again.
Because this is of the uttermost importance, use the affirmation once every hour, every day. Randomly touch your baby and tell them you love them and kiss them often.
This will restore trust, and the love you share will strengthen.
Remind them too that Daddy loves them too and have their Daddy remind your baby that you love them too.
Remind your baby that you love them.
“As we say, so it shall be.”
This is the foundational teaching in any philosophy, religion, or spiritual teaching that has ever existed in the world.
It goes a little differently among people who don’ t believe in spirits:
“Be careful what you say.”
Either way, it fulfills the same purpose. What we say most becomes our experience.
If the focus of your thoughts has been on how your baby doesn’t love you or your baby prefers other people, you will send that message and get that outcome in your life.
And it’s not a great experience.
You can shift your perspective.
Instead of focusing on how much your baby doesn’t love you and loves their Daddy more than you.
Focus on how much you love your baby, and they love you and love their Daddy.
Tell your baby you love them often and always think about how much they love you too and Daddy. You and their Daddy should always remind baby that you love them, and so does Mommy or Daddy.
You would tell your baby, “I love you! Daddy loves you. WE love you!”
Their Daddy would tell them, “I love you. Mommy loves you. WE love you!”
This strengthens your family unit, builds security and love within your family,
Focus on the outcome you want, not the problem.
It’s tempting to spend time talking about how your baby loves their Daddy more than you. Don’t fall into the trap. Focus on the thoughts that will get the outcome you want, which is your baby to be secure with you too.
You do so by loving them and reminding them of it. Do not get frustrated at them; treat them the way you would like to be treated.
You should focus on celebrating the relationships your baby forms with others. This will strengthen the relationship they have with you because they will trust your opinion and confide in you when they need help.
Your baby preferring their Daddy means that your baby is in the hands of someone who loves them, and that is something to be celebrated.
Your baby still loves you, more than you will ever know, you just need to remember it to see it too. It’s not a competition.