Help! My Baby Hates Me!
Every new mother knows what a blessing it is to have this opportunity to take care of a baby like those baby dolls that you grew up with and fantasized about all your life. And then you meet that special someone whom you know by their face, and the look in their eyes, and the timing of the whole joining together that this is someone whom will provide you with children.
And what a joy it is when you find out that you have conceived and that this genetic wonder of your fantasy becoming a reality is about to manifest. But, then, reality hits. You are just a new mother who knows almost nothing about babies being thrust into the position of caretaker and homemaker (if you are lucky enough to escape your corporate obligations, at least on maternity leave).
Yes, there I was standing with my baby and waltzing around with a bundle of joy in my arms. The expression on my face was glowing as I fantasized about all the adventures that I would have with that cute little gem. And, for a while, I suppose that everything was good. The baby slept fine and was feeding normally after I brought him home from the hospital. He looked just like his father but with just a touch of firmness from my thick Siberian skin.
How Do You Know If Your Baby Hates You?
Then, it happened. I no longer seemed to have any time to relax. My life was a symphony of noise every few hours in bursts of melancholic chaos ringing through my ears. Yes, I had given birth to the biggest crybaby on the block. Does he hate me? Is he jealous of me and seeking to usurp my role as the parent before his rebellious teenage years? Perhaps he is already planning the funeral and dividing up his inheritance with a yet to be born sibling.
I have no idea because I am the only parent here. His grandmother is not living in the vicinity of where we reside and is unable to coach me in this matter. His aunts are not very helpful either and tease me that I must have lost the instruction manual that came with my perfect babydoll angel. So, I do not even boast of him anymore because they resent the fact and mock my requests. Here I lie, day and night, contemplating how I am able to help calm his nerves. Is he just a colicky baby?
My Baby Hates Me and Just Might Murder Me in My Sleep
I know that my baby hates me because he does not cry when anyone else is around. He only cries when I am attending to him. Nothing that I do ever seems to satisfy. I read extensively about colicky babies and had hopes that the excessive whining would cease after 3 to 4-months. The unfortunate part is that doctors are not really certain about what causes colic disorder.
Knowing that my baby hates me, despite my best efforts to appease his demands, I tried every trick in the book. I played him all sorts of music, none of which really impressed him all that much. Although he did like the classical music and quality blues vocalists more than the others. I took him for a joy ride and hoped some vibrations might give him a sense of wonder and excitement. My baby hates me, nonetheless. What do you do when your baby hates you?
I gave my baby kisses on his belly and rubbed his back. While this may have been something that worked for a while, eventually he would be back to the crying routine. My husband said that he felt as though every time that I picked him up, his Check Engine light would illuminate as an indication that something was wrong. But, why me? Why is it that my baby hates me and nobody else?
Putting the Pieces Together
Just when I am starting to think that my baby doesn’t like me, some interesting signs came to my attention. I noticed that my baby vomits on me when I am feeding him. He very often is suffering from a loose and watery stool. Then, Eureka, I realize that my baby doesn’t like me because I am a vegan who eats lots of soy which is being passed through my breast milk. Because soy is one of the 8 major allergens recognized by the FDA, it is quite possible that the little guy is allergic or hypersensitive.
Spreading the Good News
Now, I must declare what happened to me up to the ends of the earth. The whole world must know that the reason why my baby doesn’t like me is my breast milk. And not that it isn’t delicious and supernutritious for any young man growing up to be a hero. It is only because I am eating soy which is tormenting the little guy’s digestive tract. After further research, I read that soy is one of those foods that just behaves badly in the body with all those phyoestrogens and phytogoitrogens in it.
So, the next time that you think to yourself “my baby doesn’t like me”, please consider what you are doing in its life that may be causing it grief. It may not be anything directly. It could be something like a sensitivity to your perfume. In many cases, babies are just bored and being babies. They are not able to talk and, therefore, express themselves with crying for any type of discomfort. In my case, it was a major discomfort that I should have had the forethought to prevent if I was such a good mother as I imagined I would be.
While this is only one reason why a baby may seem to be something more than colicky, babies are complicated. You have to experiment with changing up any routine and getting things down to their bare essentials. Try changing anything that is in your baby’s routine to see if it improves the situation, no matter how nuanced it may be.
Some things I had to experiment with changing when I had to figure out why my baby doesn’t like me:
- Try different clothes
- Use different diapers
- Switch up the environment
- Adjust diet
- Use soap or shampoo
- Try new lotion
- Switch to a different crib
- Try another blanket
- Provide protection from sunlight
- Ensure you provide baby with a dark room at night
- Try using bottled spring water for your baby’s formula